Lies Women Tell Men

You've heard the one about the 3 biggest lies in the world; "I gave at the office, the check's in the mail," and, of course, "I won't come in your mouth." If you're familiar with David Allen Coe, you know a slightly different version of them.

Somehow, though, these all seem like the lies of men. Well, there are myriad lies women tell men, too. Arguably, we do it better. Maybe we even do it more often, but usually, it's for a good reason.

It takes a small army of white lies to keep a relationship going - there are so many times when the PG version of the truth is really more appropriate than the hand-on-the-Bible variety. Your lady doesn't really expect you to believe her little untruths, so if you watch out for them, you can fix the problem she's not quite ready to talk about before she has to.

LIES WOMEN TELL MEN #10

I DONT MIND WATCHING SPORTS WITH YOU

This is why you have a girlfriend. She will do something she doesn't like to please you. What? You thought she liked watching football with you and your old frat brothers Huckster and Bubba? You poor fool. Just enjoy the fact that she's willing to do it at all, okay?

WHY SHE LIES: To establish a rapport with you on something that is decidedly you're territory. It's sweet of her.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Enjoy it for a while, but if you notice a dip in enthusiasm, start giving her outs, like: "hey, didn't you want to visit Sheila tonight? I'll be fine with the boys."

LIES WOMEN TELL MEN #9

IM FINE

Oh no she's not. If she's using that terse, sharp tone - you know the one, when it sounds like you could use her voice to cut glass - she isn't fine.

WHY SHE LIES: She thinks you should know what she's not fine about. You insensitive jerk.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Gently feel around the issue and try to figure out just what might be wrong.

LIES WOMEN TELL MEN #8

IM NOT MAD

This is a lie closely related to #9. This generally happens after you've had a fight or disagreement, right? You may be 100% in the right, and eventually, the lady temper might come around to your point of view. Don't hold your breath. Just apologize vaguely and give her some space.

WHY SHE LIES: She's waiting for you to apologize for being a jerk.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Give her some time to cool down and think things over.

LIES WOMEN TELL MEN #7

I HAVENT SLEPT WITH TOO MANY MEN

This may or may not be true and it's none of your business and shame on you for asking! Your partner's sexual history does have some relevance to you - safety and hygiene and all that noise, but seriously - the details are not important, and your lady doesn't want to feel promiscuous. Moreover - she doesn't want to think that you think she's promiscuous. Or she's worried you'll start asking about who was better in bed than you.

WHY SHE LIES: A little bit of self-protection here.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Take what she says about her sexual history at face value and wear protection until there's a ring on her finger.

LIES WOMEN TELL MEN #6

I DONT MIND IF YOU GO TO A STRIP CLUB WITH YOUR FRIENDS

The modern woman understands that her boy-toy needs some visual variety once in awhile. Every once in awhile you'll be with a girl who actually doesn't mind. Or who will go with you! Usually though, it's one of your behaviors that she barely tolerates and generally allows because a) she's worried you'll make a fuss about her being controlling or b) wants something from you in return.

Your lady knows that if she doesn't bat an eyelid about you stuffing dollar bills down a Pamela Anderson-look-alike's g-string, you owe her. Big time.

WHY SHE LIES: Power. It's about keeping it in her court.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Take it as a trade-off - she gets the upper hand, you get to see tatas!

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