Online Dating Guide

Message title:

A commonly overlooked aspect of the message, despite it being the first thing they read, is the title. Use engaging message titles to stand out. A bad title or no title will often get your message deleted sight unseen. And it doesn't matter how good your message is if they don't read it.

Try a spin on the automated versions (This person MIGHT be interested), humor (The rest of the people emailing you are slackers and weirdoes) or questions (Are you up for adventure?). If you make them smile or pique their interest, odds are they'll open your message.

Following messages:

There are a million directions your online conversations can go. They can be funny, challenging, thought-provoking. The more unique the better. But no matter how original, all successful online conversations have three things in common: comfort, adventure and sexual tension.

Comfort:

Show them you're completely comfortable with who you are online. Treat them like an old friend. Tease them. Joke about online dating. Tell stories that show you're not trying to be larger-than-life just to impress. Your comfort level will reflect theirs.

Adventure:

Everyone craves adventure. Talk about active things you do. Hiking, biking and walking may seem simple, but they're not. Each is an adventure that can bring surprises, excitement and suspense into your life. Prove you're not a couch potato by telling them about the close call you had with an angry skunk.

Sexual tension:

The only way you can be seen as a sexual being online is through building sexual tension. Teasing, flirting and sensual stories all build sexual tension. Be sure to use them. Sexual tension is what creates an atmosphere of heightened sexuality. This is what convinces them to move offline. Without sexual tension or 'chemistry' you risk being told, 'let's just be friends.'

For people afraid to tease online, fearing it will be misunderstood, know you can use abbreviations and emoticons to ensure they know you're not serious. Place a LOL (laughing out loud), JK (just kidding) a smiley face :-) or winking ;-) emoticon at the end of a sentence to let them know you're just teasing.

Find a common passion:

There has to be a reason for the two of you to meet. The quickest way to find it is to discover a common passion. Travel. Sports. Volunteering. Find a topic that creates a connection and you'll be on a date shortly thereafter.

Don't reply immediately:

When you get a message, don't immediately shoot a response off. If you see they're online, don't immediately send an IM. By letting some time pass, it shows you're busy doing your own thing and not needy. Wait at least a couple hours before returning messages. Always give them 5-10 minutes to contact you through IM, before you say hello.

Don't spread yourself too thin:

One of the best problems to have online is having too many suitors. But if you try to write back and forth with too many singles, it's going to take up too much of your time. It will also increase the chance you'll send the wrong email to the wrong person. So spend your time writing to the singles who you're really interested in. If they don't work out, you can always go back to the messages you didn't reply to initially.

Other message mistakes:

Now is not the time to start making spelling mistakes. Stay away from taboo topics like money, religion, politics, sex and the ex. Don't send a message to the wrong person. While you may get away with a couple spelling errors the other two are online conversation killers.

Get offline ASAP:

After a handful of messages it is time to move off-line or move on to someone else. If you stay online too long, you risk becoming their mystery crush. The person that knows them as well as they know themselves. They'll build up expectations so high, you'll never be able to live up to them.

Try to set up a date after the third or fourth message. If you haven't moved to the phone by the fifth message, you're in trouble. Remember, the goal of online dating is to date off-line, not chat online.

Recommended books (free to download):

David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Bridges
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

Labels: pickup lines  deangelo story  taking full responsibility  getting your  applied magic  full responsibility  characteristics leader  attracting smartness  words languaging quantum  strippers strip club  method 2004 dynamic