Gender Divide On Jealousy

For women, it hurts much more to hear that their boyfriends had an emotional affair than it would to discover that they used a cigar to masturbate overweight women. That's the way it is. If women know that their men are being emotionally unfaithful, the scar goes way deeper than it would if they were just having hot sex with anonymous women.

On the other hand, men see it differently: if their women had a sexual affair, it fares much worse than if they have an emotional one.

So why are there such gender divides when it comes to what makes men and women jealous?

The most popular theory is one that roots itself in evolution: Men are hyper-vigilant about sex because they can't ever be sure that the kids their women are having are actually theirs. And women are incredibly concerned about being with men who are committed to raising a family.

But now, new research is suggesting something else. Oh, it doesn't bash the old theory, in fact, it builds upon it. However, it also suggests that the differences are rooted not just in gender, but in one's relationship history.

Those (men and women) who value their autonomy in relationships over commitment tend to find sexual cheating more upsetting, but those who value their relationships or are securely in committed ones find the emotional betrayal more upsetting.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Adam Gilad - Interview With John Alanis
Marty Beckerman - Generation Slut

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