Q: After seven years of no communication, how do you reestablish contact with an old love?
A: What a fantastic question! Reuniting with a lost love is a great fantasy. Reality is often different than what we're fed in romance novels and movies. You have to be realistic and not idealistic as you pursue an old flame.
The first step is to seriously ask yourself, why now? What are your motivations – nostalgia, thoughts of romance, curiosity, guilt?
If you really want to continue, there are several online services that can help you attempt to track down old flames. If you do end up making contact, consider these guidelines:
* Research relationship status. Over time people change. Maybe your old love is married or otherwise committed, has children, or is career-focused. Getting a sense of where your old flame is in life will help you gauge whether your motivations for reuniting are the same as your ex-love's motivations for agreeing to see you.
* Don't assume past chemistry means present chemistry. They're called old flames for a reason. This person is part of your past who fit with you at a certain time and place in your life. Don't try to relive the past or assume that past feelings have continued or can be rekindled. There was a reason you broke up.
* Be truthful when telling the person where you are in your life. It goes without saying that no one should lie about themselves to impress anyone. Trying to entice a reunion based on false pretenses – even small ones – is a recipe for disappointment.
* Don't pressure your old flame for anything. Don't play a sentimental card to force a meeting. Your old love has a right to not want to see you again for whatever reason, so don't argue or attempt to manipulate them to get a different answer.
* Start with email or phone calls. Remember you're not the same people you were in the past. A reunion means starting over and getting to know who you both are today. Take it slow and make it comfortable for one another. You can promote a sense of safety and comfort by maintaining some distance. You can do this by limiting early contacts to casual email or telephone conversations. It simply takes the pressure and expectations off.
* Gradually, move the interaction to something more personal. By all means meet in person if you both decide that it would be fun and comfortable. Keep in mind that this transition is similar to two online daters taking their relationship offline for the first time. Making more personal contact is best done gradually so neither party feels any pressure or apprehension.
* Keep the perspective on friendship, rather than romance. Remember not to live in the past. Instant passionate reunions often happen in movies, but are rare in reality. Keep the focus on reconnecting with an old friend. Don't allow yourself to become preoccupied with fantasies of rekindled romance.
* Have fun and respect boundaries and limits. Your old flame might be thrilled to hear from you and might have had a blast meeting you for lunch, but might simultaneously have no romantic interest in you anymore. Have fun reminiscing about old times, but don't let nostalgia and fantasy override good judgment and manners. Accept without argument whatever boundaries are placed on expectations in the present.
And maybe despite the time, you'll discover that there is burning ember still left between you two. Enjoy the process of rediscovery, rather than try to fan the flames too quickly.
Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment, and they'll wait more than just a few days or weeks. Don't make unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates.
Regardless of whether you two end up getting back together, enjoy your trip down memory lane.
Q: How do you tell when a man is interested in a woman? Can a man really be too busy to have a relationship? How do you know when to give up or keep trying?
A: That's the million-dollar question! There's no easy answer, since everyone has different deal makers and deal breakers.
Close your eyes and visualize your man. Visualize him physically and visualize how he displays his inner qualities.
Now honestly think about whether there is something happening in his life right now that rationally must take priority over your romance in the short term. Is there a crisis at work or with his children? If there's no such obstacle, then think deeply about whether you two share the same definitions of openness, truthfulness and faithfulness. Those three elements are the foundation for a satisfying, long-term relationship.
If he's too busy or not willing to put in the time and effort to get to know you and nurture the relationship, then he probably doesn't have what it takes to build a foundation with you.
Think about how you should raise concerns and anticipate his responses or excuses. By mentally rehearsing the scenario, you'll be better able to remain rational and clear-headed when the actual conversation happens.
You deserve answers so you can make a final decision on whether to wish him well and leave, or stay to work out the issues you're facing.
Talk to your man rather than wasting time and spinning your wheels guessing about his motivations.
If he doesn't want to discuss your concerns, then he's answered all of your questions.
Q: When is a good time to introduce the person you're dating to your young child?
A: The answer to that question depends on several factors, such as the age of your children and the seriousness of your relationship.
Also read this ebooks:
Chris Jackson - How To Get Her To Make The First MoveLou Paget - How To Be A Great Lover
Labels: jealous type asian singles attracting using strength online dating made flirting with getting perform woman attracted older women creating influence pick up the world controlled remote viewing from forum after beatiful sex by
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.