Can You Go From Dating Back To Friends

QUESTION #1: FROM DATING BACK TO FRIENDS

I met a cool guy couple of weeks back and we have been out on 3 dates so far. He planned romantic and fun dates, and I had a good time talking to him.

We did kiss a few times, but after getting to know him better, I feel that we are not compatible.

He is a really cool guy and I still want to be friends with him. How do I move us back to being friends without making it all weird"

R. DON STEELES ANSWER:

You say what you said above, simply and directly. It hurts to be on the other end of "let's just be friends" and you are wasting his time and money, and hurting him by not telling him that you want to go from dating back to friends.

I, myself, do not want to be friends with an attractive, desirable woman I have been out on dates with. Not many men with self-esteem want to either.

QUESTION #2: MEN WHO FRIEND THE EX GIRLFRIEND

I started dating a new guy a couple months ago. Everything is going really well except that he still talks to his ex-girlfriend - a lot.

He calls her his best friend and they text all day and talk on the phone at least once a day. They dated for 3 years and were actually engaged for a while.

They have been broken up for about 6 months. I haven't said anything about this yet and I'm wondering if I should. It bothers me, but do I have a right to ask him to stop talking to her"

R. DON STEELES ANSWER:

You have every right to say, "I don't want you talking to her. It's over. Please stop, you are hurting me."

If he rationalizes and explains, you know that you are number two and she is number one. What you do then is up to you. Many people, men and women, put up with this "ex being a friend" nonsense. Either it's over or it's still on. There is no half-assed relationship.

QUESTION #3: HOW WOMEN TEST MEN

I've been dating a girl for the last couple of weeks. There is an obvious chemistry and we've talked about our attraction towards one another, but it hasn't moved past the friend zone.

This past weekend, she tried to set me up on a date with her friend. What does this mean? Is this a test or something"

R. DON STEELES ANSWER:

Rarely is that anything other than a test. However, she could be saying, "we're done". The only way to find out is to say, "I don't want to go out with her, I want to be with you," all the while smile and use a positive tone of voice.

Her reply will tell you everything you need to know. If she's coy, she's testing you. If she's not, you're toast.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Affirmations
David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Bridges

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