How To Start Talking To A Woman In A Nightclub

One of the single biggest mistakes guys make in nightclubs is focusing all of their time on one girl. They don't realize that in a bar or nightclub the reality is that you can meet as MANY women as you want. Unlike other situations, women usually stick around a club for several hours, so you're sure to see a woman again. Meeting a lot of women is important - if it doesn't work out with one, you'll have several other options. PLUS, you'll subconsciously come across as more of a challenge because you'll know that she isn't your only choice.

So here's how to do it:

When you see a girl (or group of girls) that you'd like to meet, go up to them and get them laughing or engage them in some simple conversation (I'll tell you some great opening lines in a second). Then tell them you have to get back to your friends, and maybe you'll see them later. Move on to the next girl or group and do EXACTLY the same thing. This does a couple of important things all at once... One of these things is that it sets you apart from most other guys in her mind.

Why? Because most guys will start a conversation and then "cling" on to the woman, staying FAR too long and boring her with routine conversation. On top of that, most guys wait for the WOMAN to end the conversation or walk to a different part of the bar. When YOU are the one to end the conversation first, it communicates that you're an independent guy who doesn't "need" to talk to her. This is like STEROIDS for attraction.

It also builds "social proof." When women see that you're talking to other women in the bar, they know that you're an in-demand kind of guy... and if they aren't able to win you over, some other woman will. Women are highly competitive, and this drives them NUTS - which, of course, is great for attraction.

It also creates familiarity - the next time you see them they'll feel you are old buddies.

GREAT OPENING LINES

A powerful way to start these conversations is to point out something funny that's happening in the club. Find a guy who's wearing a funny outfit, then walk up to a group of girls and say, "Hey girls, do you think I'd look better if I was wearing THAT guy's shirt?"

Another great approach is to purposefully bump into a girl, then look her right in the eyes and say, "Watch it punk," with a totally serious face. The girl will start to get all sorts of funny looks on her face - she won't know if you're trying to start a fight with her (which of course makes no sense whatsoever) or what - then right when you feel she's about to call you an asshole... crack a smile and bump her with your butt. Tell her "I'm just kidding, you dork"... she'll start cracking up.. and you'll be IN.

This is completely different than anything they've ever seen in a club. It's totally ballsy, and it totally works.

Or, as an alternative, after you bump her with your butt simply walk away. What's great about this is it creates a sense of "mystery" in her mind - she'll wonder where you went, and when she sees you again she'll be very interested to talk to you.

Another fun thing to do is to find a group of girls sitting down at a table, sit right down next to them and say, "Hey girls, sorry I'm late, traffic was CRAZY getting over her. You didn't order drinks without me did you? What kind of drink do I have coming?

THE THUMB WAR

But one of the most childish and ridiculously enjoyable ways to approach a woman is with a thumb war.

Walk up to a woman, don't say a word, and put out your hand like you're doing to shake hands. But when she gives you her hand, look at it funny, turn it around in thumb war position, and start the game. Try taunting her while you're playing. "You suck. You are so going to lose... I'm going to dominate you right now in front of all your friends..."

After you annihilate her, crack a sly smile and then walk away. She'll be so hooked that don't be surprised if she approaches YOU later in the evening to find out more about who you are.

SAY SOMETHING FLIRTY EVERY TIME

The key to all this is to say something flirty to her every time you see her.

Tell her she looks like she's up to something. "Are you guys planning something over here... you look suspicious... what kind of trouble are you guys planning on getting into..."

Accuse her of following you and tell her to stop.

Touch her glass with yours and say "Cheers..."

Every time you leave you build up the sense of anticipation and challenge. And women love it.

POSITION YOURSELF

There's always a place at the bar where everyone goes up to get a drink... wher everyone gathers and tries to get the bartender's attention. If you can grab a bar stool that's right next to that place, it can be FANTASTIC... because all night long you'll have women bumping into you, etc. You'll have tons of "ready made" opportunities to talk to women.

Or grab a spot next to a walkway. When girls walk by, you'll have a change to stick out your glass and clink, challenge her to a thumb war, or bust on her.

FISHING VS. HUNTING

It helps here to think of this as "fishing" more than "hunting.

Regular guys go hunting for women. Naturals go fishing.

Hunting means you have a motive. Women pick up on this and will see you as being too hungry, desperate, needy, and "trying to hard."

If she can tell that you CARE whether she is into you or not, she will INSTANTLY disqualify you... even if you are doing everything else right. If you put too much importance into the interaction, you'll also have a tendency to think too much and screw it up.

On the other hand, if you are relaxed and just out to have a good time and make some new friends, women will be naturally drawn to your laid-back attitude.

Be a fisherman, not a hunter. Less effort will give you more results.

By David DeAngelo

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Simon Heong - How To Instantly Attract Any Woman
Don Diebel - How To Talk To Single Women When On A Date

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