Media Backlash Against The Community By Neil Strauss

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In the last week, two more prime-time scripted television shows ripped off The Game and Mystery's techniques. And of course perverted the message of the whole thing.

For those who haven't been keeping score, last year, CSI Miami aired an episode about pickup artists with rival workshops, an undercover reporter infiltrating them, and murderous results.

Then there was Twins (the Sara Gilbert show), in which Gilbert's nerdy high school friend returns transformed after having written a book about picking up women using techniques like negs.

And on a recent Ugly Betty episode, she interviews the writer of a book called Tap That: How to Score With Hot Bitches, which advocates the A.S.S. approach to meeting women (Approach, Subdue, Score).

TV writers seem especially fond of using use pua jargon like neg and peacocking, which one of us should probably get the Oxford English dictionary to include.

Anyway, I thought TV writers had their fill of The Game after these shows.

But then, the other week, on Big Bang Theory, one of the nerds, Howard, decides to try peacocking and negs, and strikes out miserably.

And then last week, on Criminal Minds, investigators chase after a man who's taken a pickup workshop with a Mystery clone named Raven, and is now seducing and murdering innocent clubgoing women.

Do you sense a theme here?

It's that the game is for creeps, losers, and killers.

And this kinda pisses me off.

Why?

Because it shames men out of seeking help for their issues. Help that could bring them out out of their social shells. Help that could make them much happier with themselves. Help that will, for most of them, lead at some point to marriage and children - and, in the meantime, lead to new experiences and friendships, not to mention some fun, consensual late nights.

The truth is, from the thousands upon thousands of successful AND botched pickups I've witnessed: The game poses a far greater threat to the guy than to the girl. And not one TV show has captured this. The real victims of the game are the guys who get so into it, they lose themselves. They lose the things that are special about them as individuals, they lose their direction in life, they lose their ability to relate normally to people.

And that is a minority of guys. Most are smart enough to get it, and blossom into amazingly cool, fun, successful guys. When it comes to violence in society, which these shows love to attribute to PUAs as an exciting plot twist, if you read the news, some of the most shocking crimes in society have been caused by men who have pent-up sexual desires but have either been rejected or just have no way to attain them. So they grow dark and bitter and hateful, and eventually lash out. Other instances of violence

(like school shootings and suicides) have been caused by people who felt like social outcasts. And other instances (like domestic abuse) stem from an attempt to take control over the victim.

(Of course, some people are just crazy, fucked-up sociopaths.)

The point is: when taught and learned correctly, the game socializes men.

And the more socialized people we have in this world, the less anti-social behavior we'll see.

If fewer people feel powerless around and invalidated by others, than fewer people will resort to trying to get what they believe to be the upper hand through violence. So, rather than leading to more violence in the world, the game is at least a step toward leading guys to seek help with their issues and pointing to other attainable solutions.

Because the game is not about wearing a funny hat and insulting women.

It's about becoming your best self and making the best possible first impression you can. It's about understanding the rules that people use to make social and sexual and professional choices and alliances, and working effectively within that system. It's about attracting others by learning to master yourself, rather than trying to control them. And it's also about having fun when you go out, rather than cowering timidly in the corner.

Though the seduction community has its faults and shortcomings, I often think about what my life would have been like if I never discovered it. And I would have died having missed out on so much

of life, because I was so scared and timid and uncomfortable and mute around women and strangers.

And what worries me about these shows is that, psychologically, they make guys who feel socially ostracized feel even MORE ostracized and ashamed for trying to do something to change it.

So, in conclusion, we're all going to have to band together and change the tide on this in television dramas and sitcoms. (Thanks to VH1, at least this is getting a better depiction on the reality show front.) Maybe we can make a show about a crime-solving team of pickup artists, who use their social skills to make connections and get information from people. Or maybe not.

But at least we can all do our part in encouraging anyone - male or female - to take whatever positive steps are necessary towards becoming a better, more attractive, more successful person who's fully and fearlessly engaged in life.

Thanks for listening,

Neil Strauss

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Jo Barrett - The Men Guide To The Women Bathroom
Lee Jenkins - Female Orgasm Black Book Best Sex Positions
Michael Hall - Dealing With The Downside Of Nlp

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