Dating Violence

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I have recently had several women ask me where to meet men. They don't come right out and ask the question. Instead they joke about not being able to find any good men. Then they ask in a second hand way where they should go to meet someone nice. I find this funny. If you just look around, men are everywhere. It's not like it's hard to meet them. They are walking down the street, riding the subway or picking up a sandwich at the local deli. All you have to do is be nice and talk with them. However, that's not the way our society works. I understand that there are safety concerns that cause people to look with suspicion on those they don't know.

Given that, where should women go if they want to meet men? I've thought about this a little and tried to think of where women should go if they want to have an above average chance of meeting someone "nice". There are plenty of places where men hang out. You can go to a gym or a home depot and you'll see lots of guys. However, I'll suggest two places where I think women can go and have a better chance of success meeting a nice guy.

The two places are churches and bars. At first glance these places seem like opposite ends of some male continuum. However, I think both places are can be fertile hunting grounds for many different kinds of guys. I'm going to give my impressions of both places but for this article I'll focus on bars and ways to make your search more successful.

One place you can always find men is in bars. Most guys love to drink and bars offer the opportunity for men to hang out with friends and throw a few back. To start, we need to make a distinction on what kinds of bars to choose from. Just because a place serves alcohol doesn't mean it's going to be a good place to hang out.

Two places I would suggest avoiding are clubs and single bars. Any place that has become known as a place to meet single people takes on a whole different atmosphere. You'll definitely meet men there but I'd say the quality of the people there will be very suspect. If you're interested in a one night stand or something like that then these types or bars might be the place for you but if you're looking for more than that, don't bother with these locations.

The two types of bars you want to focus on are sports bars and small neighborhood bars. The sports bar for most men is close to Nirvana. This is where you can go and get food, beer and sports and enjoy them with your friends all in one place. A good sports bar will have almost every kind of guy you can want. Guys who love sports will be there watching sports. Even guys who aren't really into sports will be there hanging out with their friends.

If guys are into some type of sports league such as hockey or softball what will they do after the game? They head to a sports bar for food and alcohol to tell tales of their exploits. I know guys who were on softball teams just because they liked hanging out after the games.

What if you're looking for a guy who doesn't drink? No problem. You can still hang out at sports bars and meet lots of men. I don't drink and I go to sports bars all the time. If my friends want to go out we usually end up at some type of sports bar where they can drink and I get soda. Many of my friends depend on me to be able to drive them home in case they have a few too many. I also go to sports bars with friends who don't drink. I have a good friend who I occasionally work out with. Many nights we'll leave the gym and go to a sports bar to eat and watch baseball or football.

The other place type of bar to go to in order to meet men is the quit neighborhood bar. This is a great place to find guys. Many times I'll want to see a friend but am rushed for time or don't want to go someplace special. We end up going to some place close to both of us. It's kind of like cheers in the "everybody knows your name" feel. We like the atmosphere of the place and it's nice when you can go somewhere and the people working there know you and in some cases even remember what you're going to order.

There is one place near me that I go to probably once a week. In the time I've been going there, I've come to meet several "regulars". I wouldn't call them friends but they are people I talk to and am friendly with. Women would be very welcome in places like this and over time would get to meet many new people.

Hopefully, this gives you some ideas of what kinds of places guys go to. It's not guaranteed that you'll meet a guy here who you want to start a relationship with. However, you're chances are better here than at the Laundromat or grocery store.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Dr Dennis Neder - Getting Women
Michael Webb - Dating Exercises
Derek Vitalio - Seduction Science

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