Authors Note: "Like some of the other sagas of Ultima Anime Massacre, this will contain some Lemon. I have decided to take a break from recent
UAMs in favor of a prequel! This will explain how UAM came to be!"
Ultima Anime Massacre Alpha
Chapter 01: "Love is in the Air or Whatnot"
Written by Ultima Trev
Pre-read by Komobito the Prankster
Setting: The date is Wednesday, February 14, 2001, The location is Okayama Japan. The present day is Sasami's 17th birthday...
The time is 7:00am...
Tenchi (pushing the stop button on his alarm clock): "Damn I'm tired."
It's a typical day, Tenchi has to get ready for college and all that. Of course the only one who gets up as early as Tenchi is Sasami, the one who
loves to do chores for some odd and apparent reason...
Setting: The kitchen where our favorite Juraian princess is mopping the floor...
Sasami: * I doubt anyone remembered what day it is. *
Tenchi: "Ohayo Sasami-chan!"
Sasami: "Ohayo Tenchi-san!"
Tenchi: "So how is our wonderful birthday girl doing?"
Sasami: "I'm surprised you had remembered. I thought everyone had though of me as the maid now."
Now that Sasami is 717, (17 physically) and used to the Earth culture, she enjoys tight ass jeans and tight cleavage-revealing tank tops as much as any other adolescent female on Earth. As for Tenchi, he's gotten over his shyness with the ladies, he's already had sex with 5 girls from his classes, of course he didn't tell anyone at home about that, with the exception of one...
Tenchi: "No way, out of all the ladies here you have adapted to Earth culture the best, and quite flawless too. That makes you my favorite alien!"
Sasami: "I can't figure out if that's an insult or compliment."
Tenchi: "I'm sorry if that offended you. You're even as cool as the girls in my class who are quite a few years older than you."
Sasami: "So I could compare to a 25 year old in your class?"
Tenchi: "I don't see why not."
Sasami: "Well, that makes me feel somewhat relieved."
Tenchi: "Well, I have to get going... See you later, and I'll see to it that your birthday doesn't suck!"
Sasami: "You're too kind."
Tenchi then exited the house and entered his 1999 Toyota Corolla, putting Pantera: Vulgar Display of Power in the CD player, and heading
towards his college campus...
Meanwhile in Jacksonville Florida, a 16 year old otaku by the name of Trev was watching La Blue Girl with his cousin Justin...
Trev: "Damn man, those girls know how to kick some ass."
Justin: "No shit, I wish I could be a ninja super hero."
Trev: "Yeah, me too, Nin-nin is like the star of hope for us otakus..."
Justin: "Hell yeah!"
Graham: "Yo Trev, lookie here..."
Trev: "Hey Graham, you finally got RE: Code Veronica."
Graham: "Yeah, but before we play that let's play some Perfect Dark."
Justin: "That's some good ole death matching fun."
Trev: "Of course I'm gonna win again, but oh well."
Now we take you to rural China, where a battle is taking place...
Dr Gerro: "Now now Vegita, back off of #19, he's defenseless."
Vegita: "Screw you. As for you fat ass.............."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
#19 was blown to bits...
Dr. Gerro: * I'm screwed. *
Later at the University of Okayama...
Cat Girl Naku Naku: "Tenchi, this ring, it's too much."
Tenchi: "What are you saying?"
Cat Girl: "It's just not gonna work, I'm transferring to Tokyo to get my Ph D."
Tenchi: "Was it the sex?"
Cat Girl: "No way, you've penetrated my wall much better than anyone. But I'm afraid I have to go. Good bye Tenchi..."
Amagasaki: "That sucks dude."
Tenchi: "I thought for sure she was the woman I was gonna marry. I thought wrong."
Amagasaki: "Give it to one of the girls that live with you."
Tenchi: "Well, it is Sasami's birthday, but I think she would like a wedding ring from someone 9 years older!"
Amagasaki: "Physically at least..."
Tenchi: "Oh yeah, she's really 717..."
Later as Tenchi gets home...
Tenchi (whispering in Sasami's ear): "Sasami, I need to talk to you in private."
Sasami: "Ditto."
Outside of the house in the green house...
Tenchi: "Well, I got you something..."
Tenchi pulls out the ring that he got for Naku Naku before she told him the bad news...
Sasami: "Tenchi, is this a proposal?"
Tenchi (blushing): "No, it's just that it's the nicest one they had at the jewelry shop..."
Sasami: "I don't know if I can accept this, it's too much..."
Tenchi: "Sasami, you've earned it more than anybody."
Sasami: "I think this is something that you should get for your girlfriends at school..." (apparently Sasami can keep a secret)
Tenchi: "I forgot to mention, Naku is transferring to Tokyo. We had to break up."
Sasami: "That sucks, It sounded like you guys really had something going and all."
Tenchi: "Sasami, you're without a doubt my best friend. You're even more supportive than Amagasaki is."
Sasami: "Well, you're the only friend I have really, but you sure are one Hell of a guy."
Tenchi: "Thanks Sasami."
Sasami: "Welcome."
Sasami and Tenchi then went on and on about how things are. Tenchi would often talk about how Amagasaki would grosse out girls at school, and Sasami would often
talk about how she'd wake up hearing Aeka's moaning, like she swears that she's masturbating. They'd always laugh at finding fault with others, though they have never
found fault with each other...
Sasami: "Well, I had better get dinner ready..."
Tenchi: "Can I help in anyway?"
Sasami: "Sure, you can give me a ride to the grocery store."
Tenchi: "Ah, shopping time is it?"
Sasami: "Yep."
They take off in the car...
...and to the grocery store they went...
Sasami: "Lucky us, they have an abundant supply of Tabasco sauce..."
Tenchi: "And anchovies!"
Sasami: "Yuck."
Tenchi: "I knew you'd say that!"
Sasami: "I'm wondering Tenchi, why don't you look at girls in the same manner as your father?"
Tenchi: "Trust me, at school I can be quite the naughty one."
Sasami: "Well, I'm quite jealous."
Tenchi: "Why is that?"
Sasami: "Those girls are quite lucky to have someone as cute as you fantasizing about them."
Tenchi: "Since when was I cute?"
Sasami: "Since I've met you, why?"
Tenchi: "You've never really told me that."
Sasami: "Should I have?"
Tenchi: "Of course."
Sasami: "Oh, well your extremely cute. I'm sure any girl would tell you the same."
Tenchi: "I could probably say the same about you."
Sasami: "Yeah, only if I was older though."
Tenchi: "Why's that?"
Sasami: "We could have made a cute couple."
Tenchi: "Trust me, Ayeka and Ryoko would do anything to prevent that from happening."
Sasami: "True."
People are giving quite the stare to Tenchi and Sasami...
Tenchi: "Sasami, why are people looking at us."
Sasami: "I don't know."
"Wow, they get along quite well for being father and daughter."
Once they get home from the grocery store inside the kitchen, Ayeka and Ryoko are sitting at the table drinking green tea and pastries...
Ryoko: "Where have you two been?"
Ayeka: "It's been around two hours and one half."
Sasami: "We went grocery shopping so I could cook a more complete meal."
Ryoko: "Is that a metaphor for going on a date?"
Ayeka: "Tenchi, how could you betray me like this!"
Tenchi: "It's not like that, we went grocery shopping and there's nothing more to it!"
Ryoko: "If you say so."
It was getting late... And now everyone was in bed with the exception of Tenchi and Sasami. They were continuing their conversation from the grocery store that night...
Sasami: "Don't think it was weird that those people thought I was your daughter?"
Tenchi: "Yeah. As I said before, I think of you as my best friend."
Sasami: "Same here. Not even my friends on Jurai were like you."
Tenchi: "It's a shame that I'm physically 9 years older, I'd go out with you in a second..."
Sasami: "Strange, I have that exact feeling."
Tenchi: "Sweet."
Sasami: "I have to come clean with you."
Tenchi: "What's that?"
Sasami: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I love you just as much as Ryoko and Ayeka. I feel the urge to make love to you as they do. I always think that my life isn't
worth living because I know I'll always be too young for you a certain sense..."
Sasami breaks into tears...
Tenchi: "Sasami, I'm going to have to come clean with you too. Ever since you started to mature into the lady that you are now, I've always had thoughts about how
nice it would be to go out with you, and get intimate..."
Sasami: "Tenchi, maybe..."
Before she can say another word Tenchi locks his lips with her own...
Sasami: * Can this be real? Could I have won the heart of the most loving, caring man in the universe? *
Sasami could not help but moan in ecstasy as the one that she had secretly loved for all these years explored the inside of her mouth his tongue. Sasami then felt
urged to do the same to him. Eventually they got into a tongue war...
Tenchi: * I cannot believe this day had come, the one I love more than anyone has finally accepted me as a lover... *
Eventually the break the kiss to catch their breath...
Sasami: "Tenchi, that was the most delightful feeling I've ever had."
Tenchi: "Indeed it was Sasami."
Of course they are pretty tired, seeing how they fell asleep on the living room couch. Tenchi was sleeping in a sitting up position while Sasami is laying down with her
head in Tenchi's lap...
8:00am the next morning...
Tenchi (looking at a clock): "Oh crap, it's already 8!"
Ryoko: "Well Ayeka, how do you say we go about pounding these gnats into the ground?"
Ayeka: "I say we get some baseball bats and swing as hard as we possibly can..."
A & R in unison: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Sasami (in a yawning fashion): "What's going on Ten... Crap."
Ayeka: "Well my demon sister, you should be ashamed!"
Sasami: "Honestly, we were just so tired wee fell asleep down here during a chat last night!"
Ryoko: "Like we should believe that."
Tenchi: "It's true, obviously you forgot that I'm the pure hearted hero and would never get intimate with a child."
Ayeka: "I see your point..."
Ryoko: "Sorry we came to these abrupt conclusions..."
Tenchi: "Apology accepted."
Ayeka and Ryoko then leave...
Sasami: "You saved me."
Tenchi: "What do you mean?"
Sasami: "I'm sure they would've pounded us into a pulp..."
Tenchi: "Yeah, me too."
Sasami: "Well, you better get ready for school."
Tenchi then gives Sasami a kiss on the cheek...
Tenchi: "See you later..."
Sasami: "Good-bye my love..."
End of chapter 1. Next chapter: More tasteless Lemon from the author no one likes, and that's me! Email all flames, comments, etc. to
superultimatrev@netscape.net.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):
David Deida - The Way Of The Superior ManHonore De Balzac - The Deserted Woman
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