When the lyrics aren't done right, however, a love song can turn into a dumb love song with dumb love song lyrics. They come off as obnoxious, annoying or just plain dumb. Here's a list of some lyrical disasters for your consideration for the dumb love song lyrics hall of fame.
LOVE BITES
DEF LEPPARD
A huge hit for Def Leppard in 1987, "Love Bites" surpassed even "Pour Some Sugar On Me" on its way to becoming the bands only #1 single on the Billboard charts. Cashing in on the power ballad craze that swept through the '80s and which almost killed conventional metal as we know it, Leppard put out this little ditty, pondering the complexities of love and how it can be, all too often, a double-edged sword.
THE DUMB LOVE SONG LYRICS:
There's a joke that goes "What has 9 arms and sucks?" The answer is Def Leppard. The 9 arms is a rather cruel reference to the band's drummer who lost an arm but continued drumming. The sucking may very well be a reference to lyrics like this:
"When I'm with you are you somewhere else? Am I gettin' through or do you please yourself? When you wake up will you walk out? It can't be love if you throw it about."
HERO
ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
Okay, so you're going to say, "You can't make fun of 'Hero!' It was used so often during the aftermath of 9/11!" Granted, this is true. The simple fact that this song came out around that terrible period in 2001, was enormously popular independently of terrorism and happened to make people think of the real life heroes of 9/11 is probably what makes this so. If you actually look at the lyrics, however, you might think that the terrorists won.
THE DUMB LOVE SONG LYRICS:
"Would you tremble, if I touched your lips? Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this."
Oh, believe us, we're laughing Enrique.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
JAMES BLUNT
Proving once and for all that his name wasn't an indication that he was a stoner act, James Blunt achieved huge success with the release of his obnoxiously catchy "You're Beautiful" in 2004. Truly a song you couldn't escape from, "You're Beautiful" was supposedly inspired by a real incident in Blunt's life when he came upon his ex with another man in a metro car. In an interview, Blunt described the experience as "miserable".
THE DUMB LOVE SONG LYRICS:
Sure enough, Blunt conveyed his misery by writing some truly miserably bad lyrics such as "Yeah, she caught my eye, as we walked on by. she could see from my face that I was, flying high, and I don't think that I'll see her again, but we shared a moment that will last till the end."
So a girl is with her boyfriend, taking the subway, and this guy will not stop staring at her. She thinks he's high. Is anyone else sensing a pepper spary moment here?
WHENEVER, WHEREVER
SHAKIRA
Shakira had no problem making the transition from Latin pop star to North American pop star, although it seems that some of the lyrics may have gotten lost in translation. Her first big English language hit "Whenever, Wherever" went to number 1 in 29 countries after its release in 2001. Maybe you can appreciate this song more if English isn't your first language...
THE DUMB LOVE SONG LYRICS:
"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains."
Yes, I'm sure men worldwide would scoff at the idea of mountainous breasts.
YOU REMIND ME OF SOMETHING
R. KELLY
Sure it may be easy taking shots at R. Kelly. The less said about that special kind of shower video, the better. What's possibly an even more heinous crime is his 1995 #1 hit, "You Remind Me of Something" in which Kelly sings about his apparent fantasy of having a threesome with his girlfriend and his ride.
THE DUMB LOVE SONG LYRICS:
"You remind me of my Jeep, I wanna ride it /Something like my sound, I wanna pump it."
All class, that R. Kelly.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):
Rosa Nouchette Carey - Lover Or FriendDating Insider - Conversation Dynamics
David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Bridges
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