Friday, May 20, 2011

Should Women Call Men First

Should Women Call Men First Image
Growing up, I was taught that men were the pursuers and women were the pursued, but nowadays, it seems that guys play just as hard to get as women do and women even have to do some of the pickups.

And if you're very interested in a guy, is it ever okay to make the move and call him first?

Because I didn't know the answer and all I had to go on was my outdated mother who still thinks that if a man doesn't buy a woman flowers within the first week, the relationship is doomed, I consulted every man and woman I know. And here's what I came up with regarding whether or not women should call men first.


Although some guys claim to feel emasculated if a woman makes the first move (not me, personally), if you and he have exchanged numbers, guys find it refreshing when you call and it takes pressure away from them to decide when it's appropriate to call you up.

Of course, you need to figure out what's appropriate and not-so-cool in the ways of conversation. And because you have no idea if he's in the middle of something, you should always ask if you're imposing.

So between the girls who have had the balls to call men first and the guys who have been on the receiving end of such an experience, here's what you should and should not do when you pick up that phone to see what's going on.


To start, if he's not home, leave him a message that contains your name, your number and where you met. You need to leave your number because, as we've learned in endless movies and TV shows, it's possible that his dog ate it, he laundered it, or his friend borrowed his pants and then defecated in them.

And don't leave a 5-minute message, he'll think you don't know when to shut up and you'll probably end up saying something that he interprets the wrong way. So remember: Name, number and where you met. Not what you were wearing or how he approached you, or how you made out - just where you met.


In line with not leaving an epic message, if he answers the phone and, even if he tells you he's not busy, don't go on a tangent and start talking about everything under the sun. Your objective is to get him to ask you out without having to coax him into it.

If he likes you, he'll ask you out pretty quickly and won't need to hear that you just came out of the shower, even if it's true. You want him to get to know you, not immediately imagine himself giving it to you (although he probably did that when you first met).

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Scot Mckay - How To Meet Women On Twitter
Bishop - Building Creative Fire

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