Another factor that plays a huge part is the involvement of children. It's not enough that you consider your own emotion, but what your kids are feeling as well. How you act on a date is dependent on the children and divorce. These two can occupy your mind all throughout the date. Here are some tips on how to deal with dating again with children and divorce.
REASONS FOR DATING AFTER THE DIVORCE
Since you are carrying along the baggage of children and divorce, you have to pursue the real reasons why you want to have another man after the divorce. The effects after the divorce are messy, complicated, and no one wants to clean up after. Both men and women find it difficult to get back on their feet and thus look for someone to have stability. It's like getting over the heartache of one relationship by getting into a new one. Never make the mistake of trying to get a new spouse just because you feel lonely or you are looking for security.
The new relationship considering the children and divorce should be focused on the feelings you feel for the new person entering your life. In other words, focus on how you want the other person and not on anything less. If you get lucky, you'll find love after the divorce. A new person isn't meant to fix the mess of the old relationship but he's there to build a new future.
When considering your children and divorce, you have to start slow in getting back to dating. Relationships like you had with your ex spouse is built over time. Don't expect to have a new boyfriend over night. It takes patience, hard work, and commitment to make the relationship push through. Also, if you jump into a new relationship after the divorce, it can have a negative effect on your children. You may be over your husband but your children may not. Be open to a lot of people and enjoy meeting new single individuals. Don't go around looking for love but focus more on establishing friendships you can trust.
MEET AND GREET
While dating, don't let your children meet your potential boyfriends. They might have mixed emotions and immediately judge the other person. Only allow for a meet and greet when the relationship gets more intimate. Remember the combination of children and divorce is complicated so everyone in the family should be prepared when meeting someone new. Also, when you go through different dates with a lot of people, your children will have a difficult time expecting a reliable father figure. They might get the idea that relationships can never last.
Children and divorce don't mix together well so make sure your kids are okay with you getting into a new relationship. There can be benefits of meeting a potential spouse but there are also complications. Whenever you meet someone new, never forget how it affects your kids.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):David Lieberman - Get Anyone To Do Anything
Darcy Cole - Seduce Me How To Ignite Your Partners Passion
David Deangelo - Attraction And How To Create It
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