A SERIES ON APPROACH ANXIETY BY PAUL JANKA"Part 1, Part 2, Part 3"
The key to perfection is practice and in the picking up women world you get there through volume. You will never be good at meeting chicks until you've chatted up hundreds of them and sure, gotten a fair amount of rejections. I've been doing this for years, even before coming to New York. I've been learning what works and what doesn't for over a decade. Use my experience for your benefit. You don't have to re-learn everything I've given blood, sweat and tears to develop. Be smart about this. The key to getting results with women is experience, and the only way you'll get that is by approaching a lot of girls. It will be painful and awkward at first, but keep at it and you'll see your effectiveness skyrocket.
I'll give you two examples of successful, original pick-ups. I was on the subway the other day and a cute brunette was looking at her phone. She was sitting across from me on the opposite bench. The train was not crowded. I have learned that getting the woman to commit to a first move is a very effective technique because as they take action to move the process forward, emotionally they feel that they must want this, because look, they're actually pursuing you! So, I saw this brunette and we made eye contact. In a relaxed manner I tapped the empty seat next to me, indicating she should come join. She hesitated. And then she got up. The minute she left her seat, I knew she was mine. Once her body made the commitment to come over and sit with me, her hand was played. Not only had she conceded, putting her in a receptive mind-set, but my confidence was buoyed because I knew she was interested. Our conversation flowed naturally from there. I think I asked her if she lived uptown (since the train was heading down) and where she was off to...
The other pick-up was of a girl downtown, about a week ago. I was in a rush on Saturday night to meet my buddies for dinner. I came upon a woman walking briskly in front of me. She was wearing a raincoat and high-heels, and from the back, it looked as though she had nothing on under the coat. As I passed her, I made an offhand comment:
Me: You wearing anything under that coat?
Her: Huh? Yeah, of course! Why?
Me: Doesn't look like it from behind. I was a bit worried...
Her: (laughing) I don't normally go out for the night with nothing on...
We chatted for another 45 seconds. I asked her if she was "an uptown or a downtown girl" and when she said, "Uptown," I said, "Good, that's all I date." This demonstrates that I have certain criteria. She gave me the number. She came over last night.
Let's examine this pick-up. First off, I ask a question, which forces her to reply. Second, it puts her in a defensive position, thereby forcing her to justify the situation: "I'm not really naked under this!" Most importantly, if carries sexual overtones, so she knows I don't want to be her friend. Too many of the "seduction guys" out there have these goofy openers that may get her attention but don't communicate your role in her life. By having a slight sexual component to the initial contact, she knows that I'm interested in her because she's an attractive female.
That's my two cents on fear and opening lines. Hopefully this gets you started, but of course in this world of male-female relations, this is just the tip of the iceberg... if you enjoyed my breakdown, check out my book Attraction Formula and how I get around New York City.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):Theron Dumont - The Art And Science Of Personal Magnetism
Thundercat - The Art Of Approaching 2nd Edition
C Kellogg - Facts By A Woman
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