Jealous Ex Boyfriend

JEALOUS EX-BOYFRIEND

My boyfriend dumped me 2 months ago saying he didn't know what he wanted and asked me to wait for him. Well, after a while, other men have taken notice of me and I have begun to date again.

I told him about this and now he's all upset and told me he wants me back, so of course, I left the other guy and gave him al my attention. But now he's telling me he can't trust me and doesn't know if I'm loyal.

We weren't even dating, so I don't get what this is all about. Anyway, one day he acts like he's so in love with me, and the next he's aloof and distant.

What does all this mean?

ERICA

Erica, this is all about control. Your boyfriend doesn't really want you, but the second you moved on, he came back to claim ownership. This is not about him seeing the light and having a change of heart; he just wants to keep control of you by making sure you keep your eyes on him.

If he really did love you and want you back, he wouldn't be playing these games that request your full attention and your constant need to apologize for something you didn't do.

I get that you care about him, but I urge you to move on because this is only a smidgen of the misery you will endure if you stay.

He keeps throwing these other guys in your face when he is the one who left you. I think you should try to take a step back and try to look at this from a more neutral perspective.

This guy doesn't love you, but he wants to ensure that you don't stop loving him.

"IN LOVE WITH BOYFRIENDS BEST FRIEND

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, and although he is a great man, I have fallen madly in love with his best friend. I know that his friend feels the same way because he has all but told me so. We are not children - all of us are in our early 30s.

How can I transition from one man to another and cause the least damage possible?

DEBORAH

This is quite the conundrum, Deb. Well, it's obvious that you should at least leave your current boyfriend because that is simply not working for you.

As for the best friend, you have to tread carefully, because it's possible that he will choose his friend over you. And if he chooses you, there's a good chance that his friendship with your boyfriend will be over for good.

Before you make any moves toward the best friend, you have to be single for a while to make sure that you're not just having "the grass is greener" syndrome.

But I do think that life is way too short to spend it doing something you don't want to be doing, so get single, take some times for yourself, then hone in on what you want. Just be aware that there will be consequences, no matter the buffer.

"

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Bertrand Russell - The Analysis Of Mind
Joseph Matthews - Break Out Of The Friends Zone
Rosa Nouchette Carey - Lover Or Friend

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