How To Flirt When Youre Shy And Need To Get Out Of Your Shell

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So many guys just can't or won't bring themselves to be more social and to really get outside of themselves. To get more comfortable with yourself and with other people, you have to put yourself in a position where you're interacting with people, number one; and second of all, go where women go. That could be going to a community group or volunteering or going to a dance class, or any social activity where you're forced to interact with people. That's one way to get more comfortable being around people.

The next step would be just flirting with everybody, not just girls who you want to have sex with. I like to break that down with guys who are new to this, and have them just flirt with everybody and redefine what flirting is. My definition is just making people feel good about themselves. It's coming from a place of giving. Guys think of flirting as, "well you flirt because you're trying to get a woman in bed," or "you flirt because you're trying to get her number," or "you can get a date," all these things that they're looking to get from women.

You can flip that around and define flirting as something you're giving people. If you remember with time, you're making them feel good, you're being the source of their joy. One thing that stops guys is thinking, "Oh, why would this person want to give me their number," or "why would this girl want to go out with me?" It immediately flips that on its head and lets his personality shine. That's very powerful.

So how do you figure out what you have to offer? Right up front, it's probably more than you think. One good way to learn is just to ask your friends. I know a guy is always going to have at least one friend; maybe if they don't have a friend just ask family members. Ask your friends, ask your family, what do they like about you, or what is good about you? What do they see as your good qualities? What do they enjoy about spending time with you?

Even then, write about yourself, asking, "what's good about me?" Write it on a piece of paper. Do it now. "Five things that I like about me," the first things that come to mind, and there you go, you've got five things. You're already one step ahead of where you were before, and that'll get you on the right foot, on the right path.

The next step is to share those good qualities with other people. I don't mean brag, but if you don't let those parts of you show, then what you're really doing is being selfish. That's a sure way to remain shy and remain very single and very lonely. Sharing yourself is one way to turn that around. You'll be surprised how easy it is to talk to anyone then.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Saira Mohan - How To Seduce And Marry The Woman Of Your Dreams
Cartaphilus - How 2 Meet Women The Shy Man Guide To Relationships

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