Dealing With Children After The Divorce

Tweet

The interim after the divorce and moving on is a very painful part of one's life. However, the ones who suffer the most are the children of divorce. Even though a divorced family is much freer than a family that always have fights and quarrels, it is rather heartbreaking for children of divorce to see their parents go in separate ways. However, talking to your children about what will happen to everything or everyone after the divorce will somehow ease the pain among them and make them be able to understand what is really going on.

The first thing that must be done when it comes to explaining things to children of divorce is to assure them that the divorce is not because of them. As the mother of the children of divorce, you have to convince them that they are not responsible for the separation, but rather you and your ex husband are not just happy together and cannot stand to live under one roof anymore. Tell them that your love for them, as well as their father's, will not change no matter what.

Explain about the things that have caused the separation honestly for the children. This seems to be easy, but it can be very tricky and difficult to deal with. On talking with children of divorce about separation and stuff, never bring a new love interest into discussion or argument. This will only make the children of divorce confused and place the blame on the other person as the third party responsible for the divorce of their parent, making everything after the divorce on the rocky path.

It is also important to tell the children of divorce about the plans that you and your ex husband have after the divorce. However, do not expect them to be happy about it. Children of divorce need time for adjusting to the big changes that have happened on their family. As much as possible, both parents have to be present to discuss these plans after the divorce.

Talks about divorce and its aftermath should have to be tailored and conformed to the average ages of the children of divorce. Younger children may only understand that their parents will not be living under the same roof anymore and that they will be visiting one of their parents on another house. Older children, on the other hand, may be able to understand the reasons for the divorce, but they have to be consulted or at least informed on the plans the separated parents will take after the divorce.

Let the children of divorce ask questions and answer their questions truthfully and sincerely. Be honest with them at all times and never threaten them with too many details, complicacies or absurd conditions. You have to know that children to day are a lot smarter than parents give them credit for and if you lie to them, they will know it at the end and will develop and harbor hate and distrust on you. Lying, after all, will make everything harder for you after the divorce.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Robert Anue - Evil Pattern The Door
Michael Hall - Dealing With The Downside Of Nlp

Labels: online dating  based rocks  signs interested  rules dating  women date long  cliche lines  signs woman  types avoid  online photos responses  mehow opener  goal model  girls who want to get married  hypnotizing patterns  verbal communication  online dating site for singles