Art Of Online Dating

First line

The first line should allow viewers to place themselves in your life. It should capture their imagination or ask them a question. Excite her imagination with 'Exchanging smiles in Venice.' Get him interested with 'Are you up for adventure?' Don't waste the first line with the nightmarishly overused 'I can't believe I'm doing this.' Be unique. Be fun. The first line should be just as intriguing as your online name.

Photo

If you're a swimwear model with a blonde hair, blue eyes, a V-shaped torso and abs hard enough to grade cheese on - odds are you're going to drum up interest without much effort. But a photo taken from a bad angle, with an awkward facial impression, poor lighting, and a confusing background is going to hurt even the most stunning individual.

The photo is the most vital part of attracting singles online. If you don't post a picture, you're wasting your time online. Nearly 90% of online daters won't read a profile without a photo. It may be scary putting yourself out there but there are millions of singles who have the courage to do so. Ask yourself, if it means meeting your 'special someone' isn't it worth it?.

A great photo has the person's eyes peering into the camera with a confident look on their face. It should also go along with the theme of the profile. For added flare, you can add motion (feeding a giraffe, surfing a wave) or an intriguing background (isles of old books, a busy subway). Don't be afraid to get a photographic friend or professional to snap your photo.

Most common photo mistakes

Less than half of online daters have a quality photo in their profile. There are five common mistakes people continue to make when picking photos for their profile. Each lessens a viewer's interest and says unflattering things about you.

Blurry Photos

Nothing is more off-setting than a blurry photo. It says ugly, lazy or incompetent. It screams negatives things about you without saying a word.

Too far away

Your photo shouldn't resemble a page torn out of 'Where's Waldo.' Make peace with the camera. Find your best side. Don't be afraid to come a little closer.

Boring poses

Put some effort and imagination into your photo. A cool pose can help separate you from the rest of the pack. Show them your fun, artistic side.

Blocked out faces

Your picture isn't a top-secret photo that needs to be censored for the sake of national security. Take a photo of just you. The blacked, blurred and blocked faces distract from what you're trying to sell - you.

Showing too much skin

Most women don't care if you're built like Arnold Swarchenegger, they want your body covered in fashionable clothing. For women, showing too much cleavage draws too much male interest. You want to attract men with you personality - not your body. Keep gaping cleavage and short skirts off-line.

Profile

A great name, first message and photo will draw singles to your profile, but it's your words which will convince them to contact you. Be specific. Use details that excite all the senses. Replace 'I'm adventurous' with 'I love to feel the wind at my face, to inhale the soft smell of cedar, as I race down snow-covered hillsides on my snowboard.' The profile is all about show - not tell.

The goal of your profile is to create intrigue. It is not a job interview. It is not where you write your life story. It is about sparking interest and providing just enough information to make them want more. To have them daydream about what you might be like.

The basic structure of an effective profile can be broken down into three parts: opening, body and invitation. Each plays a pivotal role. The opening captures viewers' attention. The body is a sketch of who you are, and who you're looking to meet. And the invitation offers them a way to contact you.

Opening

A profile is no different than a book or movie. The opening should immediately hook viewers and pull them in for a deeper look. There are two tried-and-tested ways to do this. Through a 'sense story' and through a 'yes' set.

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Elena Petrova - The Golden Rules Of Online Dating
David Jones - The Art Of Internet Dating

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