Getting into the single status through being divorced and dating once again after divorce can be extra difficult for you, especially if you are just on the stage where you are trying to assess the effect of dating another guy on their children. Each child will have a different reaction, and those reactions on dating someone besides their father will depend mainly on the reasoning ability and the sympathy of the child. Common reactions in children of divorce of all ages, in general, include anxiety, betrayal, confusion, fear, jealousy, and even resentment.
Regardless of the age of the child, the primary effect of dating after divorce is the fact that the child will realized that you and your ex husband will stay as divorced and there will not be any reunion. Despite the truth that this may have been previously revealed and asked consent from the child, he or she may still have been hoping that his or her parents will get back together sometime. However, if you or your husband begins to date, being divorced individuals, that hope will be crushed and it will leave your child feeling bereft or deprived.
Children of divorce usually experience mixed emotions and feelings upon knowing that their parent or parents are beginning to date someone aside each other after divorce. This includes the feeling that a parent has betrayed the other, and the resentment on making another adjustment with the new person that will enter the children's lives after divorce. Children of divorce with older age and understanding might someone get embarrassed at the thought that their parent is having sexual feelings or showing affections physically to the other person. It is very important for parents to talk with their parents as clearly as possible about any matters that concern their children's emotions or feelings about the changes that will happen in their lives after divorce.
Anger or resentment might be prevalent in children of divorce who are adjusting to a parent dating another after divorce. This emotion takes place due to the adjustment matters, feeling of neglect and loss of privacy that may occur if that new person begins to share space in the home where the children of divorce live. Anger and resentment might also take place in older children who compare their parent's dating conduct as different from theirs. It may be difficult to fully recognize and accept that there are differences between the children of divorce and the parents.
It is very important for you, as a parent, to wait until you feel that you are ready to go into a serious and committed relationship once again after divorce before introducing your new man to your children. Allowing children of divorce to meet their future step parent is an awkward situation, so you have to discuss everything to both parties beforehand. You have to bear in mind that the movies are sometimes true, where children of divorce can do nasty things on the new man or woman whom there parent is dating with. Always consider your children's feelings above all else, even above your own feelings.
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