Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Cheesy Wedding Songs

Cheesy Wedding Songs Image
When asked to pick songs that sum up the cheesy music we're forced to listen to when people get married, I was hard-pressed to choose just ten. From the church aisle to the last call, there are many stinkers ripe for the picking. The following cheesiest wedding songs were selected for their age, firmness and moisture content, or maybe that's actually cheese

CHEESIEST WEDDING SONGS #1 WEDDING MARCH by MENDELSSOHN

This piece of incidental music was written by Mendelssohn for an 1842 German production of Shakespeare'"A Midsummer Night's "In the play, it would have been used in the scene of a royal wedding or a wedding between fairies, either way it was meant to be theatrical and most certainly cheesy.

It was not performed at a real life wedding until the English/Prussian Royal Wedding of Victoria Adelaide Mary Louise and Frederick William IV in 1858. As so often with trends set by the British Royalty, the masses immediately jumped on the showy bandwagon and since, this tune has been dragged out for weddings more times than that drunken uncle who always embarrasses us at get-togethers.

CHEESIEST WEDDING SONGS #2 AVE MARIA by SCHUBERT

Schubert wrote this piece originally as part of a larger work, "Liederzyklus vom Fraulien vom See" or "The Lady of the Lake". The music was set to the German translation of Walter Scott's epic poem by Adam Storck.

It is rumored it was written for Countess Sophie Weissenwolff of Austria and she subsequently became known as the Lady of the Lake herself. In the poem, the character Ellen Douglas is singing to the Virgin Mary on top of a rock or something in the opening lines and thus, the common misconception became that the piece was written for the traditional Roman Catholic Prayer, Ave Maria.

CHEESIEST WEDDING SONGS #3 UNCHAINED MELODY by THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS

Surely one of the most widely and unanimously misinterpreted songs for a "first dance" of all time. Inevitably, newly married couples end up blissfully swinging around to this one, only listening to the haunting, melodic strains of the Ever So Righteous Brothers completely ignoring the fact they are singing about being away from their loves, possibly forever, on a slave ship.

At the outside they're singing about being in chains or prison and frankly, how cynical is that at a wedding?

CHEESIEST WEDDING SONGS #4 LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA by RICKY MARTIN

Here we go! Now it's party time! The oh so tanned one's seminal dance floor stormer is sure to get aunts and cousins alike up and shakin' it.

Generally the first song after dinner, this pan-racial, trans-cultural standard is the most obvious choice the DJ can make when faced with three generations of musical ambivalence. Without a doubt, not one for anyone actually living la vida loca.

CHEESIEST WEDDING SONGS #5 MAMBO #5 by LOU BEGA

And cross fade segue to the other vaguely Latin hit, Mambo # PleaseKillMeNow. I remember when this first came out and you couldn't turn on the radio without hearing it. It was everywhere, the repetitive chorus, all those girls' names, I thought to myself, No, I will not learn these lyrics, I will not sing these lyrics in my head 10 years later. "A little bit of Rita's all I need, a little bit of Tina's all I see, a little bit of Jessica in the sun" damn.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Robert Henderson - Secrets Of Dating Asian Women
Michael Hall - Secrecy Dragons

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