Online Dater Cant Spell

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JACKIE BLACK, PH.D. IS AN INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED RELATIONSHIP EXPERT, EDUCATOR AND COACH, AND THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF "MEETING YOUR MATCH: CRACKING THE CODE TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS", AND "COUPLES AND MONEY: CRACKING THE CODE TO ENDING THE #1 CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE," WHICH IS SCHEDULED FOR RELEASE IN EARLY 2010. DR. JACKIE IS A POPULAR INTERNET SYNDICATED WRITER AND RADIO PERSONALITY; AND IS FREQUENTLY CITED IN MAJOR MENS AND WOMENS MAGAZINES, AND RELATIONSHIP-FOCUSED WEB SITES. VISIT WWW.DRJACKIEBLACK.COM AND CONTACT DR. JACKIE AT DRJACKIE@DRJACKIEBLACK.COM.

READER QUESTION #1: ONLINE DATER CAN'T SPELL

I have been engaging in an online relationship with a gentleman on MATE1.COM for about 2 weeks now and, although I really feel like we click, the fact that he makes so many misspells during our chat really irritates me, almost to the point that I want to break off all communication.

Is it normal that this irritates me so much?

I'm not a grammar Nazi by any means, but basic English should be adhered to during an online conversation, wouldn't you agree? Think I should get past this?

"ANN"

DR. JACKIE BLACK'S ANSWER:

First let me say that you are "in a relationship - online or otherwise - with a total stranger after two weeks of emailing. And you can't possibly know if you "click" with someone you have never met in person.

So let's start here: Why have you not picked up the phone and called this man and had a short conversation with him? He might be a very nice man, but he might be married; he might be someone with whom you would never be friends much less date; or he might be a predator.

You are wasting valuable time online emailing a total stranger and letting your imagination run away with you. Call him and listen to the sound of his voice; to how he talks about himself, to the interest, if any, he has in you; to the threads of the stories he tells and if they track over a short period of time.

The Internet allows us to meet many people we might never have the opportunity to meet. That is the operative word: meet.

You must get to the phone as quickly as possible and, if you like how he sounds, arrange several short meetings in a crowded, public place, during the day, and take a friend or two with you for safety. They can sit at an adjoining table at Starbucks, for example, and be there to make sure everything goes as planned.

As far as misspells, there is no excuse for misspelling words with spell-check on every computer. Misspelling words and not caring that the little red line is popping up under every misspelled word as you type is probably a microcosm of something larger about him that you are not going to like.

If you think "basic English should be adhered to during an online conversation" then own it as one of your values and stop emailing men who don't meet that requirement. For me, much more than basic English is a requirement!

Good luck, Ann! I hope you begin to use the Internet wisely!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Thegurudev - Seduction Language Patterns
Chris Jackson - Becoming A Master Of Oral Sex
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

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