Lies Single Women Tell Themselves

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Speaking as a single woman, I know that there are times when I am in full "lie to myself" mode. It's usually when my cat ignores me or I'm eating dinner alone in a restaurant.

I lie to myself most often, though, when any friend of mine finds herself a boyfriend. And the reason I lie to myself is to keep my sanity in full force. Otherwise, facing the facts about being single will terrify me to the bone and make me hide under the covers until someone comes to get me.

So what are these lies? Well, besides the "I haven't gained" much weight " lie that I use every time I catch myself naked in front of a mirror, here are the doozies that I, and perhaps most every woman I know, tells herself about being single.

And considering almost 80% of women giving online dating a try are single, according to Mate1.com, perhaps we can all benefit from facing the truth.

1- I DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY

Sometimes I do manage to convince myself that I don't need a man to tell me that he loves me, to make love to me, to give me someone to look forward to seeing, but sometimes, when I've polished off a bottle of Merlot, I have to admit, I do need a man - a good man - to make me happy.

Okay so perhaps I'm not completely miserable without a man in my life, but I have to admit that, in the grand scheme of things, I do want a yang to my yin to make me happy. Or at least, "2- IF THEY CANT ACCEPT ME FOR ME

I spent so many years complaining that I would never change for anyone because if they plan on being with me, then they have to take the package the way it is.

After some careful thought though, I quickly learned how ridiculous this sounded. I change my personality for my boss, I change my personality for my parents, hell, I even change my personality for some of my friends. So what the hell am I thinking expecting a man to take me as I am?!?

When all is said and done, I have to learn to take criticism that is designed to help me as such and not spit in the face of help when it's offered.

3- IM PERFECT THE WAY I AM

Oh yeah, I love this one. This one starts when I'm halfway through my wine and I'm with my girlfriends. I start thinking that I haven't a flaw in the world and that any man would be crazy not to want me because, well, because I'm damn perfect.

Okay so maybe I swear too much and I get overly emotional about the little things. And yeah, maybe I'm neurotic about the way the dishes need to be placed in the sink and the fact that I could stand to lose 10 pounds, but other than all that, yeah, you're damn straight I'm perfect.

4- I LIKE BEING ALONE

There are times when I am so glad to come home to an empty house, a cat that ignores me and a microwave dinner. Really, I'm serious. But more often than not, alone becomes "lonely" and I crave the affections that only a man can give me.

I do like being alone, but to be honest (which is kind of the point of this article), I would much prefer to come home to a man who may or may not have made dinner and is waiting to kiss me and ask how my day went.

5- I INTIMIDATE MEN

Oh the mother of al lies - I intimidate men. Yes, I am considered attractive and perhaps I am too bold and blunt for my own good, but I'm pretty sure that most guys aren't "by me.

Instead, there is something I'm pretty certain is off-putting about me and guys don't bother approaching me because they can smell it. Perhaps it's the reek of desperation or maybe they just don't like my look, but either way, I think it's safe to say that I don't intimidate most men.

6- I HAVE IT ALL

There's obviously something I probably have too much of if the guys aren't lining up at the door. I can easily point out what these things are in my friends, but for some reason, I can't nail it when it comes to me.

And my friends, yeah, they lie to me, too. "Oh no, girl, you have it all. You are perfect. You just intimidate men is all." Mmm, hmm. Intimidate? More like "turn off".

Yes, I do have a job, I look pretty put together, and yeah, I can crack a joke with the best of them, but there's something I am either missing, or something I possess way too much of, that needs to be worked on.

The guys who never call back don't tell me what it is and my friends, well, you saw the quote, right? So what I need is someone to be honest with me about what my problem is...

SINGLE WOMEN LIES

I know there are plenty of single women out there ready to hurl their heels at me for saying the things that most of us want to deny, but I'm just revealing the lies I tell myself in order to keep on going.

Truth is, I am holding out for Mr. Right; my only fear is that I won't get "right in time to find him because I keep lying to myself.

I think it's time I put the bullsh*t down and stepped away from the ego, and tried to figure all this out.

If you're tired of being single, why not give online dating a try?

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Wijdan Ali - Cliches Of Muslim Women In The West And Their Own World
Jon Jensen - Women Tell You How To Meet Women
Sylvester Onyemalechi - 16 Common Mistakes Single Men Make

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