MY STORY:
About two years ago, late on a Friday night alone at home (which was a common theme for me) I was flipping through channels bored as hell. It just so happened, as I was scrolling through my channel guide, I saw a show called "The Pick-Up Artist" on VH1. Too lazy to hop on the computer for porn, I guess I was hoping there would be some hot chick I'd spank it to. By now, I'm sure everyone in the community has heard of the show that blew the secret off the "secret" society. Well I didn't end up jerking off to it (was scared jerking off to the cross dressing Mystery would make me gay), but it fucking flipped my world inside out and upside down. After watching the show, of course, like every other AFC that saw the show, I had to try this shit out.
The following week, I end up going out to a club in Baltimore with some of my nerd friends (I love em, but damn they can be lame). So I pick a line off the show (dental floss) and was going to bust it out and fucking close a chick for the first time in god knows how long. By the way, I didn't tell any of my friends about the show and was just going to impress them with all the hot chicks I landed. So heading into the club with rap music fucking blaring through the speakers, packed with people shoulder to shoulder, strobe lights going on and off all over the place, the place is loaded with women. After about 30 minutes of staring at different women, I pick the girl (an 8). She's the blonde standing over by the bar in a hot little black dress with red heels looking like she ready for me to come over there grab her, take her into the bathroom and give her the fucking she was waiting for. At that very moment, my heart starts beating out of my chest, I start sweating like I'm a fucking 400lb guy walking up 10 flights of stairs, and I become very aware of beer my friend spilled on me 10 minutes earlier that makes me look like I pissed myself. So I walk up next to her, about to say the line, and she looks over at me and I freeze (like a sweaty deer in headlights). We make eye contact for about 3 seconds and I turn to the bartender, order my normal jack and coke, and walk a way like the chode I was. And stand against the wall with the rest of my companions.
What the fuck just happened? Needless to say, I don't think that set went very well. So what did I need to do to improve, I knew the answer... Tivo the rest of the season of the Pick-Up Artist. That worked about as well as me a Turtle getting laid without Vince Chase.
Over the next few months, I spend hours everyday researching shit online, reading the Game by Style, and numerous books that are listed on forums and in the book. But I never get over approach anxiety and could never find the right words to say. Once in a blue moon, under the right circumstances (not too loud, the right song, an "approachable" set, with a perfect canned line for the situation) I open a set, but cannot nail any sort of real hook.
What is going on, what can I do to get over this shit and get that grade "A" pussy I'm looking for (you know the kind that taste like ice cream, not the shitty off brand stuff, but the H"aagen-Dazs of pussy).
I finally decide to put some really value behind all of the teachings I had learned, I need in the field experience. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR GAME. And for me to actually do that, I need some pushing me to open. In February of 08, I signed up for the San Francisco boot camp with RSD. This is going to the life altering training I need to break out of my chodeness, and release the inner alpha male.
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS:
We are to meet at 7pm in a hotel lobby. I end up realizing who the other 2 students are, just by them having the same blank and nervous stare I had. My thoughts are racing and I'm scared shitless, but hey, 3 students to 1 instructor! This was going to be an awesome ratio, so much personal attention. The instructor shows up 7:25 (I was stressed, I was staring at my phone every 30 seconds, the only confidence I had to keep me in check was knowing I was in the right hotel cause the other two students were there.)
Finally, the PUA shows up, we begin to have our pick-up information given to us in the busy hotel lobby. He tells us to throw away everything we had learned as it was all shit. Canned lines never work; you have to become a natural now to be success with women, due to the book and the show fucking up the canned approaches. That totally makes sense, I get that. So what do I do? Be unreactive, assert dominance, give value, have core confidence. Ok great, how do I do that? The answer I received was defining what they were not demonstrating or giving examples so I couldn't apply it to any actions or words. But fuck it, I'm going to try and do whatever I think it means. He's the PUA, he gets paid for this, he knows what he talking about, right?
So before we head out, we get the rules. One of the first rules was that we could not ask the instructor to open a set. And which we never got to seem him do. He used having a girlfriend as an excuse. Another was "No game talk in the field" With that out of the way, we head to a nice upscale lounge and the night begins. He tells me to walk up to every set I see. I go, and immediately get blown out of the first set I approached, I return and ask what I did wrong and he replies "No game talk" and pushes towards another set. After 4 more blow outs, the night just began to grow dimmer and dimmer for me. Eventually, it just felt like my instructor gave up on me, when I said "I have no fucking idea what to say". His response was, "it doesn't matter". My problem with that answer was, if I could successfully talk to women, would I have this dreaded approach anxiety? The night ends, all three of us with an unsuccessful night.
We meet up in the afternoon the next day. And after spending 2 hours waiting on the third student (apparently the instructor didn't have his number) we realize he jumped ship. 2-1 ratio now. By this point, regardless of the ratio, I was not feeling very confident. Game talk begins again. This time, he goes over a few more cores of pick-up, of course, neither of us had been successful with the previous night so it was about logical as yelling at a dog for burning the toast your grandmother cooked in the oven a week ago.
After we broke to rest and prepare for the night, I said to myself, "Do whatever it takes to open." So I pump myself up in my hotel, get to the bar, and my good friend, "AA", hits me again. The first night, I didn't drink because I wanted to focus on my game. Not tonight...I start off by pounding 3 shots, by the end of the night, and about $100 worth of drinks later, I had open tons of sets. I have no idea if they were successful, what I said, what I did, or where I lost my phone, but I opened sets. So I figured out what I needed to do to open sets, just get plastered and make a complete drunken ass out of myself.
The next day, hung-over and without a phone, we meet and spend 4 hours in a restaurant talking about day-2's and phone game. This had an actual structure and was what I was looking for the entire boot camp. Unfortunately, I still couldn't open successfully, which is needed to a date or get a number.
Once I finally went home, which is in Baltimore (yes, I flew from MD to San Fran for the boot camp) I just decided, pick up is not for me and I will just have to look for "4" to settle for. (Which sucks cause I can hardly get my dick hard for a 4) For the next year, I just dropped everything from the game and went back to my lonely life scrolling the TV for hot chicks on Friday nights, too lazy to walk over to my PC to find something to spank it to.
LOVE SYSTEMS:
A year passes...
Of course, when I was heavy into the forums, I signed up for every mailing list possible on pick-up (I receive like 5 a day from different sites, like I'm sure most of you reading this do). I never look at them but something caught my eye, a boot camp coming to DC. Took a look at it, and just out of curiosity replied to get a few more details about it. Well, I got a call from one of the sales guys and decided, fuck it; I'll give it a try.
This time, I was not expecting my life to be altered; in fact, I expected it to be a load of bullshit. The sales guy was saying it was going to be led by a guy named Braddock, according to the sales guy, "Probably the best PUA out right now" which I also assumed to be a load of shit and was just trying to sell me.
I head to the conference room (a little bit early) where the class portion will be, yes, there are actually three full classes of teaching pick-up. This is what I was looking for a year ago. So I became a little excited, but then I walk into the room where 18 chairs are set up, I'm the first person in the room. Oh shit, one instructor for 18 people, this is going to be hell, well it ends up only 8 students, but 2 instructors and 2 assistants. I liked the break down quite a bit.
The first day, Braddock and Big Business break down opening and transitioning, and throw in a few extra pointers to help us. It was a 5 hour class, with loads of good information. It seemed a little overwhelming, but it was the same information I had actually wished for and was seeking in the RSD boot camp. Braddock gave us some openers and routines, but said not to rely on them (salt pepper). Before we broke, we were given our mission for the night, focus on opening and transitioning, don't worry about getting blown out, and hit a lot of sets: don't get stuck. It was magic...an objective that didn't rely on outcome and focused on process.
That night everyone of us blew it up. I got blown out of the first few sets, but the instructors pointed out what I did wrong (body language, tonality, smiling). The openers they gave me provided me with enough confidence to approach. If I ever felt like I wasn't sure what to do next, Calabrese just pointed at a set and said go. By the end of the night, I wasn't even using canned openers because it just turned into a night of having fun. I approached at least 25 sets that night and hooked quite a few.
The next day Braddock, Big Biz, Calabrese, and Feet Sauce broke down our success and areas of opportunity. The layer process of learning continued, next we focused on disqualification, attraction, and kino. And at the end of class, another mission: play specific games we were taught, get numbers and closes.
Another successful night in the record book for me on night 2. Day three, another evaluation of the previous night and onto qualification, comfort, and the "birds and the bees" (a little differently than my dad taught me, but I would have fucking loved this version from him.)
By the end of the class, my outlook on pick up has done another 180 degrees and I respect it now and actually am not afraid to open sets. Yes, I still have work to do, but I actually am able to begin that work after I moved off of my sticking point. And I know what to do if I hit another sticking point.
BREAK DOWN:
RSD was about half the price of Love Systems. It seemed like a great idea at the time, because it was cheaper, but I ended up losing a year's worth of pussy by taking the cheap way.
RSD has an extreme approach to the "natural" which can be great, but if you struggle with finding what to say it is not the way to go.
Love Systems broke information down and explained why stuff worked, how it worked, demonstrated it to us, and gave us feedback on what we were doing. There is a real process of learning involved.
If you do not have the money for a Love Systems class, and struggle with Approach Anxiety, do not bother taking any other course. Just save money until you can afford it.
By having more than 1 instructor, Love Systems could keep the class on course and could follow multiple students so one did not end up getting lost.
The energy of the instructors will keep any student going, motivated, and confident.
The best investment in myself I have ever made.
THOSE INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT LOVE SYSTEMS SHOULD CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):
Geoff - Real Social Dynamics Rsd 1 Seminar NotesGeoff - Real Social Dynamics
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