During a period in which I was working at a bar, a coworker forwarded me a Craigslist "Missed Connection." The name of the bar where I was working was the title of the post and the description in the ad fitted me to a tee. I was incredibly flattered and read the post over several times. It was an ego boost to imagine that someone had been interested in me enough to write about it on the internet.
At the time, I had recently started dating someone. He came to visit me often enough at work that I dismissed the ad as a romantic prank he was playing on me. A few weeks later we were talking about internet dating and I brought up the post to him, saying, "I love that you put out that missed connection about me, it really made my week."
To which he responded, "What ad?"
Just like that my interest had been re-ignited. I couldn't stop pouring through lists in my head of twenty-something men (the ad had said that he was 25) who had recently been in the bar. I noticed myself becoming friendlier with clients, even though I was dating someone. So, I put a response on Craigslist despite the fact more than a month had passed since the original post.
I never got a response. However, the feeling of desirability stayed with me.
I wanted to decide whether or not Craigslist was a decent venue to meet men and women. So, I made up an experiment to understand the process in which a Craiglist ad was successful. I placed two ads in the Missed Connections section of my local Craigslist, both set at generic local hang out. One was for man seeking woman (M4W) and the other for woman seeking man (W4M).
Korovas Thursday
On Your Bike
Generally, dating is about two things: companionship and sex, Internet dating included. But still I was surprised at the amount of responses that I got. Most of them were from men and incredibly forthcoming. Many of them included pictures, personal information and times, not only of themselves, but of the bike that I mentioned in the ad.
Even though I was less impressed by the W4M ad I had created, it turned out that it had given me more than quadruple the response of the one that was geared towards women.
If Im attractive enouch, invite me for a coffe anyway.
It seems like a basic deduction, (one I should have thought about before) but it dawned on me the that even though I kept both ads friendly and G rated, meeting people over the internet is still less risky for men than for women. Women still feel the need to test out the waters and make sure they are entering a safe situation, (hence the vagueness of the response I received from my M4W ad) whereas men have the advantage of being forth right about themselves with little risk to their physical safety. The lesson here is that, when courting a woman online, be patient. If she's e-mailing you and wanting pictures, then she's into you. Maybe she isn't quick to meet you at night, but she's just protecting herself. If you're a stand up guy, then you won't become impatient with her, you'll respect her need for personal security.
Could you be any more vague?
As far as to the success of picking up dates via Craigslist, it is obviously feasible, (otherwise there wouldn't be an entire TV series and blog dedicated to Craigslist adventures) as well quite adventurous, kind of like reaching your hand into a bag of mixed nuts. You never know who will respond to your Craigslist ad, so be prepared to be surprised and enjoy the randomness of connecting on the internet.
Personally, I had a great time with my Craigslist experiment. It made me feel connected to the people that were responding to my ads. I knew that they shared the same feeling I had when I found my own "Missed Connection" on Craigslist: excited and curious, with a little bit of giddy school girl thrown into the mix.
For those of you who are wondering what became of respondees, I wrote them all a short e-mail telling them that I was writing an article about Missed Connections and they were all pretty good natured about it. Most of them said that they would love to go out for coffee anyways!
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):
Juggler - The Juggler MethodTyler Durden - The Blueprint
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