How To Handle Your Children After Divorce

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When you got married, divorce is out of your mind. When you give birth to a child, divorce was not in your vocabulary. But today when divorce is being processed, you wonder how to handle your children after divorce. Questions like 'will I be able to raise them?' or 'how can I explain things to them?' occupy your mind. You just can't find the answer that is why you never think twice when you saw my title. Let me give you advice on how to handle children of divorce.

BE THE ONE TO TELL THE TRUTH TO YOUR CHILDREN

Your children deserve to know the reasons from you. If your reasons are not easy to understand, tell simple reasons instead. You can say that you and their father cannot stay in one roof together but you're still friends with each other. Children of divorce tend to think that they are one of the reasons so assure them that they have nothing to do with the split up. Guarantee them that after divorce; they would still see their father and spend time with him. After divorce, it is important that you gain your children's trust. Answer their questions truthfully and avoid speaking ill of your ex husband. Children of divorce should feel that you are with them during this hard time.

MOVE YOUR CHILDREN TO TELL THEIR FEELINGS AND OPINIONS

If there are persons mostly affected by divorce, those are the children. Make them feel that their stand is important. Encourage them to say their feelings after divorce. Children of divorce may hesitate to talk because of the fear that they might hurt you. That is why you should be the one to initiate the talk. As a parent, it is important that your kids open to you and not to their friends. Children of divorce should feel their parent's presence and love. After divorce, understand that there will be changes. Be there to support them in coping with these changes.

COOPERATE WITH YOUR EX HUSBAND AND CONTINUE BEING A PARENT TO YOUR CHILDREN

After divorce, continue being a parent to your children. They may be in the period of adjustment or loneliness but they still need to be disciplined and be guided. Tell your ex husband to do the same. Children of divorce tend to be rebellious because parents sometimes neglect them and focus on their own hurts. You should avoid this from happening and do not forget to attend to your children's needs.

GET SUPPORT AND STRENGTH FROM FRIENDS

After divorce, you are not exempted to sadness and periods of adjustment. It is important that you do not lose yourself for the sake of your kids. Gather strength from organizations whose members have experienced divorce too. Reconnect with your friends and spend time with them. You can also engage in your previous hobbies to serve as your recreation. Say for example, you used to bake in the past. Why not try to bake again and you can even sell them to gain extra income? Parents should be strong enough for the children of divorce, so do things that will make you a stronger woman.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Christian Godefroy - How To Change Your Shyness
Christian Godefroy - How To Control Your Brain At Will

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