Interview With Neil Strauss

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This man needs little introduction. I completed this interview with Neil just after his Sunday flight to New York City for the release of Rules of the Game. Between taxi-cabs and hotel check-in's we were able to get it done. Enjoy.

ARE YOU DATING ANYONE? WHAT TIPS CAN YOU GIVE GUYS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS?

Good question. I've actually just started dating someone.

To me, there are two factors in a relationship and that's you and her. you really have to screen a woman before you get into a relationship with her, if she wants you to change things about yourself, right off the top, it shows a lot of insecurity in herself. the issues might go away for a small amount of time, but they'll rarely go away permanently. in fact, really choosing someone with having a. relationship skills or b. work on them with you. In the Style Diaries first and last chapter really explore the idea relationships and the second part of relationships and us being male, you know, so if you're going into a relationship and you don't want the woman to be insecure and you want respect, you need to give the same. You need to always be honest. You shouldn't be sneaky. Some women are insecure, but some women are made insecure by guys. Say if you're sitting there and she looks over and you shut your laptop quickly because you're flirting with a girl on Myspace, and you get pissed when she acts insecure Well, that's your fault. I really think having a healthy relationship is hard. The best advice on relationships I've heard is from David X, he always said a lot of harsh things about relationships. But he said something profound, he said all good relationships are based on Honest, Trust, Respect. It's made such a difference in the way I've handled relationships. David X saying has become such a code with Mystery and I. HTR.

MOST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LEAVE THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY ALL TOGETHER, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE STICKING AROUND.

It depends how you define the community. I'm not hanging out with seduction community guys and discussing tactics and routines. During the game my life really was the community. Now my life is separate from the seduction community. What I didn't see happening is continually writing about this stuff. I get 10,000 emails from guys saying how I really want this one girl back. I just realize I have so much left to help out with. It's such a problem. I wasn't expecting the game to become such a hit, and so when it hit, I couldn't turn my back on guys that wanted help.

WHY WRITE RULES OF THE GAME?

The whole point is that there's so much information in the community, but how do you learn it? When you go to a seminar, buy a dvd or ebook, how do you implement that in your life? If you're a newbie or even good, if you spend 30 days doing the assignments properly, you'll see a huge change in your life. That's why I wrote it. It can change men's lives forever.

WHAT ABOUT THE GAME MOVIE?

I suppose there will be one day. Nothing soon, I'll be married with children by that time. The Dirt with Motley Crue, which was 8 years ago, their still working on the screenplay. That's why I'm writing books.

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL FOR ATTRACTING WOMEN THAT MOST GUYS IN THE COMMUNITY SEEM TO NEGLECT?

That's described on Day 16 of the Stylelife Challenge. I realized, after writing The Game, that this was the missing link that explains why two guys can go out, say and do the exact same things, and have completely different results. Even if guys don't want to buy the book, they should at least go to a bookstore and read about it. It's only three pages.

HOW DID YOU SCORE THE PART IN CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM?

Well, Larry was a fan of the game when it came out. He was married at that point, but joked about coming out "sarging" with me. I got a call from him wanting me to have a role on Curb. It was awesome. Now that he's divorced I wonder if he's using the game now.

WHAT IS YOUR IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT?

Myspace has always been really supportive of my books. And when they heard about Rules of the Game, we discussed a series of videos teaching guys to approach and interact with women. But I thought about it, and decided that instructional videos can be boring. So instead, I decided to film extreme pickup battles.

So I had David Faustino and Corin Nemec come to my house. David knows the game; Corin doesn't. So we decided to see who would fare better with women. But to be fair to the guy without game, we decided to give David handicaps. The first episode is based on something Hypnotica once said: David goes to Corin, "Even though you're taller and better-looking, I bet I can pick up more women than you - and, just to prove my point, I'll do it with a dildo strapped to my head."

All the approaches are real, and I learned some incredible things. The harder we thought we were making it for David, the easier it actually got. It really proved the point that standing out is better than fitting in, and reinforced so much of what I learned during the game. Each episode, we pushed it further and further, to ridiculous extremes.

LIKE WHAT?

Let's just say that you'll be surprised by how easy it actually is to get phone numbers when you're bound and gagged.

"Thanks Neil!"

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Adam Gilad - Interview With Satyen Raja
Adam Gilad - Interview With Christian Hudson

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