Monday, September 21, 2009

Mystery Method New Years Party Guide

Mystery Method New Years Party Guide Image
New Year's parties are great places to meet women. Everything is in your favor. People are festive and happy. They don't have to work the next day. People want to feel close to each other, no one likes being alone, and barriers are down. Like Halloween, it's also more socially acceptable for women to hook up with different men. If you understand female psychology (and if you don't, it's time to pull out your copy of Magic Bullets for a refresher), you'll know how much a woman's sexual decision-making is affected by macro- and micro- social norms. (Macro refers to society as a whole. Micro refers to a woman's immediate peer group).

If you're going to a club, expect a more intense environment than usual. People will be partying harder, drinking more, and more interested in "fun" than "deep connections". You'll also see a lot more women who don't usually go to clubs, but who will make a couple of exceptions every year, like for New Year's. So count on a slightly different crowd.

The rest of this article will focus more on house parties. A lot of guys who aren't experienced with dating science try to duplicate their successes in bars, coffee shops, and clubs by doing the same things at private parties. Don't do this! One mistake I see a lot of men is that they use the same techniques regardless of where they are or who they are talking to.

PARTY DIFFERENCES


At private parties and house parties, the underlying psychological principles of dating science work the same way, but the rhythm and context are extremely different.

For example, you can generally use a lower-risk opener at a house party. People are expected to talk to each other, even if they are strangers. In practice, most people at private parties will have some connection to each other anyway, such as having mutual friends or a mutual connection to the host. You don't need higher-risk openers to cut through the social barriers that you might find yourself faced with at clubs. Even "Hi, I'm Joe" or a functional or a situational opener will usually be fine at a house party, whereas an elaborate opinion opener might seem weird. It will definitely seem weird if you use you come across oddly, especially if you use it more than once at the same event.

For a full breakdown of the different types of openers and when and how to use them, check out Chapter 5 of my book, Magic Bullets. It's one of the chapters available for free download on the Magic Bullets page.

TAKING RISKS


I also want to talk about taking risks. We advocate taking intelligent risks, and show where and when you would and wouldn't want to do so.

Here's a place where you don't want to talk to take too many risks: in who approach and how you approach them. In a club, if you do not succeed with the first couple of women you talk to at a club, it's not a big deal. Find another part of the club, and, with luck, no one will have seen your first approaches. Even if you bomb an entire club, there are more clubs. You'll never see these people again. So you can take risks.

At a small- or medium-sized party, if you fail with a girl or a group, know that everyone else saw it. In fact, anything you do is more likely to be seen and reported. So taking a risk that fails could make the "creepy guy who was hitting on Tanya" before you even meet anyone else. Other women won't want to get together with their friend's reject. Remember - a woman's social value derives to some extent from the quality of man she is with. It's unfair, sure, but that's life.

Of course, there are a lot of techniques you can use to "cover up" a failure, and successful men are rarely if ever "blown out" - we may not always succeed, but it rarely will actually look bad. But until you're good at this, be conscious of how your social value at closed environment like parties will be affected by rejections.

On the other hand, there's an opportunity here. If you meet someone early in the night, you can ask your mutual friend about her. Keep the screening frame, even with mutual friends. Don't say "I like Sarah". Say "Sarah seems cool; where do you know her from?" People will understand what you mean. It may be that your mutual friend will do a lot of the work for you.

Another difference between clubs and parties to consider is social proof. At a club, establishing your proof is important, but it's something you usually have to do yourself. A woman knows nothing about you. At most clubs, even losers can get in if they bribe the bouncer or come really early or wait forever. So, to her, you could still be anything from a loser to a celebrity. At a party, you can and should have proof going in. Use your friends at the party to introduce you to others. Use them to help you demonstrate the eight key attraction switches that make women need to have you in her life.

One of the innovations of Magic Bullets was a detailed guide to how to convey each of the attraction switches. There are five basic ways to do this, and only two of them are based on something you can do or say. The other three require someone or something else to help you. Usually this will involve your friends or her friends. Re-read Chapter 7 (Attraction) for a complete guide on this if this isn't second nature to you already.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Brian Tracy - Ultimate Goals Program Guidebook
Thundercat - Mystery Interview The Fifth Archetype
Steve Scott - Flirt Mastery Quick Start Guide

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