The sad thing is we can never really stop people from having divorce, and even if parents would hate to put children and divorce in one sentence, they can never really tell if and when will children and divorce become a major problem to the family. As a parent, you have the power to become the buffer for your children from the feeling they would have after the divorce. There are things that you need to do in order to do this; the following will help you cope with that.
TELL THE TRUTH
If your kids are old and can understand what is happening, tell them outright what is happening. You can tell them that you wouldn't want them to see their parents constantly fighting so it is better to end the marriage. Tell them the truth but do not talk ill of your spouse. Treat your kids like adults but lessen the gravity of the situation to them.
POINT THE CHANGES
After the divorce, there will really be a lot of changes. Tell them what those changes will be like living arrangements. Assure them that whatever changes will happen, you will be dealing with it. Whatever changes you tell them, do not forget to include that what won't change after the divorce is that they will still have their mom and dad, no matter what.
LISTEN
Children and divorce will never get along, so if you want to make it work, you should listen to your kids to know how you can support them. Understand their feeling of loss, sadness and confusion and let them express how they feel about it so you can know how to better deal with them. By listening to them, you can be their refuge and strength because they know that you are there to help them.
TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM
Children and divorce can really put you in a hard situation, put them down and make it hard for them to move on. This is what you do; shower them with lots of love. Show them that even if their parents are not together, they will still have a family after the divorce. Constantly tell them you love them and that you are proud of them for being able to hold up to these trying times. Tell them that their parents will still be there for them and you will still be a family, with little changes.
These are just some of the things that you have to deal with children and divorce. Other things that you have to deal with is your ex and talk to him on how you both can help heal your family and move on. Work with him and if possible, talk to your children when you are both present. Children and divorce and helping them cope up are hard tasks, but as parents, you have to give them the reassurance that everything will be alright through words and actions. Follow the children and divorce tips and help your children face their future after the divorce with no bitterness.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):
Mary Marcy - Women As Sex Vendors Or Why Women Are ConservativeBrian Tracy - Create Your Own Future
Mario Uchard - French And Oriental Love In A Harem
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