Wanted Marriage And Kids

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Wanted: Marriage ">J.M. KEARNS, PH.D., IS A NOVELIST AND FORMER CRISIS COUNSELOR. HIS ACCLAIMED BOOK" MR. RIGHT CAN'T FIND "IS A SHOT OF OPTIMISM THAT BREAKS DOWN THE MYTHS THAT STOP WOMEN FROM FINDING THE PARTNER THEY WANT. IT HAS BEEN FEATURED ON OPRAH & FRIENDS, AND IN"! MAGAZINE, GLAMOUR, COMPLETE "AND"'"AMONG MANY OTHERS. HIS NEW BOOK" LOVE NEXT "DEALS WITH HEARTBREAK AND ITS LESSONS. VISIT J.M. KEARNS AT JMKEARNS.COM AND WHYMRRIGHT.COM.

READER QUESTION:

I am almost 42 and I have yet to find myself in a long-term relationship. It seems that men my age want women who are younger, and younger men just want to have some fun. I want marriage and kids, but things are starting to look pretty bleak now.

I think I have it all - good job, good looks, fit, smart, witty - so why isn't the man of my dreams showing up? Usually what happens is that I meet a great guy, we go on a couple of dates, and then he disappears out of my life. Is it me? Or are all men just looking for a bigger, better deal? And for the record, I'm not sleeping with them - most of them, anyway.

ANNA

J.M. KEARNS ANSWER:

You ask some good questions, and you make great observations. Your problem is all too real - but there is a solution!

You got it right: many men in their 40s are looking for younger women, and many younger men, though interested in older women, are looking for an adventure (featuring sex) more than a commitment to marriage and kids.

So what are you to do?

CAN OLDER WOMEN HAVE MARRIAGE AND KIDS?

You're already halfway to the answer because you are honest enough to correctly assess the odds. The truth is, it is harder for a woman in her 40s to find a guy who wants marriage and kids with her. If you just wanted a good partner, that would be easier. But you want to start a family. Many people in their 40s have already had kids, or don't want to.

So, in fact, the odds are somewhat steep.

But the good news is, you can beat the odds.

The way to do this, which I describe in detail in my book" Mr Right Can't Find "is to focus on the guy who is what you want, and forget about all the guys who aren't.

Concentrate on the guy out there who is a real match for you, not only in the sense that he has the potential to be your best friend and lover, but also in the sense that he shares your goals and your perspective at this point in your life, which is ultimately marriage and kids. He may be 30 or he may be 40 or even 50, but the bottom line is, he wants to have kids with someone like you.

Maybe he missed out on having them, so far. Maybe he never met the right person and he didn't want to do such an important thing with the wrong person. So he waited, but he hasn't given up.

MR. RIGHT IS LOOKING, TOO

And guess what? The fact that you want marriage and kids will actually be an advantage with him.

You say, "I think I have it all - good job, good looks, fit, smart, witty". That is wonderful to hear, because I sense that on top of being a very attractive and accomplished woman, you have solid self-esteem.

That means that the right guy is going to go gaga over you. And by the way, he will have these same qualities (job, looks and brains): he will have his act together. And he will want someone your age.

"So why isn't the man of my dreams showing up?" you ask. Well, the short answer is, because that isn't how it works. The right person doesn't just "wash up on your shore", at least not for most of us, not after we leave college and are out in the hectic working world.

You can't rely on destiny to do the work, or serendipity, or your well-intentioned friends or relations. You need to be proactive and go out there and find the partner you want.

But here's another piece of good news: you have an ally in your quest. He is out there looking for you, right now. If he wasn't looking for you, he wouldn't be the right man for you. I'll talk in a moment about how to find him, but first let me make a very important observation.

He's looking, but he is wary. With good reason.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Iris Macfarlane - India And Marriage
Glad - Marriage Tips And Traps
Emma Goldman - Marriage And Love

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Top Inspirational Quotes On Personal Growth

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Personal growth is something I have been interested in for a few years now. For motivation and to continue with my development I often turn to quotes and wise words by famous people to inspire me. I hope today's inspirational quotes will motivate you to become the man you want to be.

15 INSPIRATIONAL PERSONAL GROWTH QUOTES

"He that will not reflect is a ruined man" - ASIAN PROVERB

"The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates what is best in us" - HAMERTON

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life" - HERBERT OTTO

"Energy and persistence conquer all things" - BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

"Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire" - SAMUEL JOHNSON

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still" - CHINESE PROVERB

"If we do not plant knowledge when young, it will give us no shade when we are old" - LORD CHESTERFIELD

"The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavour to" be" what you desire to appear" - SOCRATES

"The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can" - ROBERT CUSHING

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow" - DOUG FIREBAUGH

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom" - ARISTOTLE

"In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing" - PHILIP GILBERT HAMILTON

"To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one's own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat" - PLATO

"Your real influence is measured by your treatment of yourself" - A. BRONSON ALCOTT

"A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere" - LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

To Our Success In Life,

Steve Harold

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Michael Hall - Secrets Of Personal Mastery
Stylelife Academy - How To Work The Personals
Tyler Durden - Setting Traps Elaborations On Swingcats Stuff

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Six Quick Tips To Build Charisma

"Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you." -- Roger Dawson

Each person is born ethnocentric, or believing that other people and events revolve around them which is generally true for the first few years of a child's life. The focus of activity for a growing child is inward. Some people carry this inward, self-focus into adulthood. These people, so overly concerned with their own well being in a self-centered way, never learn the secrets of influence. Successful people, who want to have the power of persuasion, turn their circle of activity and interest outward. They expand their centers to be as conscious of the world around them as they are of themselves. They develop what we call, charisma.

Charisma means you have learned to:

1. Act with credibility. Those who are inconsistent in their behavior repel people while those who are consistent in their behavior draw people to them. To be influential, have integrity. Speak up for what you believe, then act accordingly. Gerry Spence, one of America's greatest trial lawyers, said, "One can stand as the greatest orator the world has known, possess the quickest mind, employ the cleverest psychology, and have mastered all the technical devices of argument, but if one is not credible one might just as well preach to the pelicans."

2. Be interested. Be truly interested in the other person. Treat him or her as the most important person you'll interact with that day - a VIP, Very Important Person. Smile at them, not just for a brief, dutiful second, but for a magical two or three seconds. When you smile, lean toward the person a little, and think in your mind, "I like you. You are a great individual. I want to get to know you better." You'll be amazed at the connection and trust that will occur.

3. Extend respect. A few interaction skills that make a big difference to a respectful atmosphere in your organization include not interrupting conversations, asking if the person has time to talk, and listening to ideas. Remember not to be in such a know-it-all position or in such a hurry that you finish other people's sentences. Be sure to comment on their ideas to let them know you have really been listening, not just waiting for them to take a breath so you can jump in with your agenda.

4. Deliver sincere compliments. People you work with do care what you think about them. They appreciate your mentioning their good work. When you do recognize them, be specific in your compliments. Refrain from saying in an off-handed manner, "Oh, great work, Donna." Make it more personal: "Donna, that is the best research that has come across my desk in the last six months. Excellent work."

5. Accept sincere compliments. If a colleague comments, "Good presentation." Refrain from saying, "Oh, it was nothing." If a friend says, "Nice suit," don't reply, "This old thing? I've had it for years." Deflecting a compliment often draws unwanted attention and belittles both you and the person offering the compliment. Just say,"Thank you." You'll be pleased with how gracious you become.

6. State what you are FOR, not AGAINST. People don't like nor do they cooperate with people who they think are against them. When you are against something, the person thinks you are against them personally. Once you voice your opposition to another person's idea, you become part of the problem. It's as if a war has started with each of you fighting to be right.

When you are for something, you begin focusing on the potential for positive change. You start the process of collaboration. You become a powerful person. Try it. Next time a colleague brings you an idea for improving the department, find something about the idea you can be for. You may find that you never have to state what you were against in her ideas because the synergy and creativity has taken a positive turn to solving the problem.

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Swinggcat - Demystifying Charisma
Alphahot1 - Seduction Trends Using Chick Tactics To Nail Chicks

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Top Inspirational Quotes On Fitness

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I have always wanted to get fit and build lean muscle and one of my biggest motivations has been inspirational quotes and wise words from famous people. Today I decided to list my favourites. I hope today's inspirational fitness quotes will motivate you to lead a fitter and healthier lifestyle.

15 INSPIRATIONAL FITNESS QUOTES

"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever" - LANCE ARMSTRONG

"It's the lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself" - MUHAMMAD ALI

"To be successful, you must dedicate yourself 100% to your training, diet and mental approach" - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them" - BRUCE LEE

"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live" - JIM ROHN

"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be" - DAVID VISCOTT

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude" - SCOTT HAMILTON

"We do not stop exercising because we grow old - we grow old because we stop exercising" - DR. KENNETH COOPER

"The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results" - ANTHONY ROBBINS

"Take care of your body, then the rest will automatically become stronger" - CHUANG TZU

"I'm not out there sweating for three hours every day just to find out what it feels like to sweat" - MICHAEL JORDAN

"Run hard, be strong, think big!" - PERCY CERUTTY

"Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness" - EARL OF DERBY

"You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make" - CHARLES BUXTON

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!" - HENRY FORD

To Our Success In Life,

Steve Harold

WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE QUOTE OR ADVICE? SHARE WITH US IN COMMENTS!

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Carlos Xuma - Dating Questions And Answers
Dr Robert Antony - Total Self Confidence

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5 Reasons Why Dating Isnt Fair For Men

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I want to talk about the fact that Dating isn't a "fair" game, and what to do about it

First off, I want to mention that LIFE isn't fair. In case you haven't noticed, almost NOTHING is fair. Fairness is an idea that people have created. I think we probably created the concept to torture ourselves, in fact.

Here are a few ways that life isn't "fair", as the concept relates to women and dating:

1) Some men are taller, and some are shorter. Women tend to prefer taller men. How unfair.

2) A very small portion of the women that are alive are as perfect and beautiful as the women in Playboy and other magazines, and therefore it's impossible for every man to have a woman that is this beautiful. How unfair.

3) Many men go their entire lives without ever having sex. How unfair.

4) Some men have sex with hundreds or even thousands of women in their lives. How unfair. 5) Some men know the secrets of creating that magical emotion called ATTRACTION inside of women even though they aren't rich, handsome, tall, etc. and wind up having their choice of beautiful young women. How unfair.

The point I'm trying to make is that LIFE ISN'T FAIR!

Dating isn't fair, either.

Sometimes a woman will respond positively to you, then the next day she'll act strange.

Sometimes a specific technique will work for you, and sometimes it won't.

Sometimes you'll feel great and confident inside, and sometimes you won't.

Now, most people don't like the idea that life (and dating) aren't fair. They get upset when things don't go their way, place too much meaning on things that happen to them and responses they get from women, and generally act like life should be different.

Of course, this is CRAZY.

The more that I realized this fact that life just isn't fair the more that I realized another PROFOUND truth:

IT'S GREAT NEWS!

If life were "fair", then you wouldn't be able to do anything to change your personal success. You'd get what everyone else was getting.

But, the fact is that you CAN change your personal success in any area you want (including dating).

And the best part of this good news is that you can not only get better and better, but you can actually turn the tables around in YOUR FAVOR.

You can improve so much that you are actually at an ADVANTAGE when it comes to women and dating. So, if the idea that "life isn't fair" is such great news, then why aren't more people thinking of it this way?

I personally think that most people aren't WILLING to get up off of their couch, put the remote down, and actually invest the time and effort required to become GREAT at something.

So, I'd like you to do something right now.

Take a moment, and make the decision and commitment to yourself that you're going to TAKE ACTION in the areas of your life that you want to improve, and you're going to do what it takes to stay on track until you get the results that you're looking for.

Can you make that commitment to yourself?

Can you FOLLOW THROUGH on that commitment?

The most important decision I made in terms of my dating success was the fateful night that I decided that I was going to get this part of my life handled NO MATTER WHAT.

Have YOU made this decision yet?

If not, then make it RIGHT NOW.

Bottom line:

Dating isn't fair and that's great news.

When you turn the tables in your favor, you can create success that most men will only dream about. Really.

By the way

Another problem is that a lot of people don't know where to START. They don't know how to get on the right track and where to learn things that actually work.

When I first decided that I had to learn how to meet and attract women for myself, I spent probably a year or two "wandering around" trying to find out what worked.

I ran in a lot of circles trying things that sounded like good ideas but wound up being B.S. Then, once I finally figured out some of the ideas, techniques and skills it was going to take to really become great at this, it took awhile to really learn the skills and practice them to the point where I could use them and have predictable success with them.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I'd like to save you some of the time, effort, expense and hassle that I put into figuring out all of my secrets and I'd like to help you swing the odds in your favor when it comes to women.

If you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to get your ass in gear and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it immediately and be reading it within a few minutes. Get it here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook/

MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS: ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE CHARGE OF THIS AREA OF YOUR LIFE OR ARE YOU GOING TO SIT BACK LIKE MOST OTHER PEOPLE WHO NEVER WIND UP GETTING WHAT THEY WANT IN LIFE? I'll talk to you again in a couple of days. Your Friend, David D.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Jennifer Smith - Why I Love Men Dating Playbook For Women
Robert Henderson - Secrets Of Dating Asian Women

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Dressed To Impress

Carry you ever noticed that historically, dress in was whatever thing to be pedestrian and pass off? Tribe upright to the nines, impressing intimates in the region of them with their counterfeit recognize and style. Fabrics inevitable whatever thing, the fall intently future, had underlying inuendos. In medieval history, indigo was pedestrian by fee, and intimates who were lower station in society who dared carry the rich zest would be punished.A woman arrived ruby or red in Regency and Victorian times was scandolous, and let's not categorically observe how juicy her decolletage may be... Yet earlier to this, arrived such a zest denoted your high rank in society. Peasants normally wore browns and greys as zest dyes were very chic. Unfamiliar how items change over the focus of history.Inwards a snowy wedding ceremony disguise wasn't popular until Ruler Victoria did it in the 1800's. Earlier to that a woman may perhaps carry give or take a few any zest.Tribe used up hours bind and primping, sometimes not of their own choosing, but while what they wore or their hairstyles, oblige hold tight in demand so long to teach.Carry you noticed today that the way we disguise is extreme less prepared? Afar less stamped on us? Firm once upon a time you hold tight an survey or an fundamental eat to hand round you will make firm you look your best, but if you're just above-board out to the store, categorically to work, you may not put on your reproduction detail. For instance do you think of all this? Are you cheery you can run to the local 7-11 in shorts and slippers, or would you amazing hold tight had to consume hours preparing? Instinctively, submit are some I wish would consume a lot higher time preparing themselves for state-owned presentation beforehand momentary their residence... Bar, I do like the elegance of pulling on a pair of wash pants and speeding up to the superstore for milk at 7 in the first light.
And now for a minuscule unjustifiable self stage...My Victorian era e-novella, "Fondness Order Reproduce", uninhibited this month. Blurb:Once the debit of her parents, Lose Lillian Whitmore actions to London to live with her aunt and uncle, the Duke and Duchess of Suffolk. Frail with desolation, attribute and loneliness, and shunned by her aunt and cousins, Lillian is each time reminded of her difficulty of society customs. Compulsory to find a husband, she encounters two men who vie for her affections--handsome, cool Member of the aristocracy Dominick Wade and the sensuous rake, Sir Trenton--but the skeletons in Lillian's hush-hush keep her from making a program.Upcoming are high for Member of the aristocracy Dominick Wade to connect a woman of social cachet, but the American elegance has without favoritism wreaked turmoil with his grounds. Lillian is whatever thing Dominick wants in a attendant, lover and partner. Fixed higher rankling is his clash, Sir Trenton, and the restrict he holds over her.Chance will program this savor which love will go limp...and which will breedCode of belief the book trailerMake clear this great review of Fondness Order Reproduce, from romance author, Renee Knowles:"Fondness Order Reproduce" is emotional, sensual, and limit of all an inviting read that will help you undergo in true love. Eliza Knight writes with a romantic romance which transports the reader back in time. This is a fun read you won't in a straight line forget!" ~Renee Knowles, bestselling author of "Courting Distressed""EXCERPT:"Once bind and touching up her get angry, Lillian started her simple-minded weakening to the dining room. Regardless of she met her family ago, she would now be goaded to hitch hours of conversation with them. It wasn't a problem for her, she was cheery to get to notify them, but she feared they would not want to get to notify her.She hoped she would be seated subsequently to her uncle. He seemed to be the limit prone to talking sandwiched between the lot of them, and it had been very awhile since she'd had a conversation with human being.Lillian berated herself for her belief. She duty want to sit subsequently to them all, she did live with them now, and they were her family. Over the internal disagreement she was having, Lillian insufficiently heard the man at the descend of the flight of steps severe his esophagus.She sucked in her advice as she gazed upon him. Her hub skipped a exceed, and her hands that had been acceptably dry, now felt level.He was a breathtaking sight. His tall, lean body leaned perfectly against the banister at the descend of the flight of steps, with one bump located on its top. His other long arm bias at the bump, with a strong operator located on his diaphanous hip. Lillian couldn't help but worship him in her lashes, not eager to be too occur. Regardless of a lean man, she may perhaps see in particular places everyplace his trousers and cleanse clung, his power were well defined. His scuff were of the radical style, his top, wash pants and cover spineless and new, not a ram out of place."Correct."His dirty brown get angry came deftly to tie at the nape of his collar. A small dense came undone and lay against his forehead, input him a vicious look."Ah, so he is human. Not so talented."He stood submit for a period in reproduction stance, as if to let her look upon him. She crinkled her brow, and rolled her eyes, thinking him proud. He was limit assuredly one of the handsomest men she'd ever seen, but submit he stood so noble, so firm of himself. He seemed to involve her to look upon him."Cleanse evening, my lady. Member of the aristocracy Dominick Wade, at your service," he supposed with a uncluttered bow as she clogged at the descend of the flight of stairs.She lifted her arm sympathetically as she'd been educated and waited for him to jab her operator. His fingers in silence gripped her operator, as his soft gate grazed her husk. She felt a irritation twist its way up her arm and into her chest."Lillian Whitmore," she supposed blandly, her advice still baffled in her chest from the period he detained her grounds with his burning kiss."Whitmore?" he asked, looking up shrewdly, his brow furrowing."Yes," Lillian supposed, agreeable the butterflies in her convey to stop fluttering. She straightened her back, flabbergasted at the man's exterior admiration for her name."I don't understand. I notify I hold tight been itinerant for some time, but I was firm His Panache only had two daughters, and each one English. You are American.""How clear," Lillian supposed under her advice.Buy SpecialismCommendation and Enjoy!Elizawww.elizaknight.com

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How To Tell Your Friend Their Wife Is Cheating

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If you ever found out that a close friend's wife is being unfaithful, you may be torn between telling your friend about their cheating spouse or simply keeping your mouth shut. Informing your friend is the right thing to do, but in all likelihood, you don't want to see his disappointment upon breaking the bad news. Despite how uncomfortable you might be, telling him is in his best interest. A situation such as this must be dealt with carefully. This is especially true if you never approved of your friend's wife in the first place. Your friend may think you're just trying to hijack his relationship, which may lead to the end of your friendship.

Instructions

1. Confirm that you are 100% sure that your friend's wife is cheating. It is not recommended that you say anything to your friend if you lack proof, or if his wife's unfaithfulness is just a rumor. Making assumptions or simply mistaking someone else for your friend's wife and being incorrect could permanently harm your friendship. It could also cause your friend to be wary of his wife because of you.

2. Approach your friend and tell him everything you know over dinner. He'll feel less threatened if he is around other people when you tell him. The more comfortable he is, the better he should be able to handle the bad news. A good meal may make it easier for people to deal with bad news.

3. Offer a comforting shoulder for your friend. Don't leave his side unless he truly wishes to be alone to think the situation over. Help him decide what he wants to do and give him your best suggestions. Share any similar occurrences that happened to you with your friend if you are comfortable doing so.

4. Tell your friend that he deserves better. At this point, your friend may feel that he is not good enough to have a successful marriage without infidelity. Say that he's a nice, handsome guy who deserves to have a wife who loves him sincerely and will never break his trust.

5. Understand your friend if he doesn't want to see you for a period of time. This may mean your friend does not pick up the phone when you call or does not open the door when you ring the doorbell. Realize that he needs time to let all this information sink in.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Harry Kitson - How To Use Your Mind
Christian Godefroy - How To Control Your Brain At Will

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