Getting One Night Stand But Cant Perform

A lot more men have this going on than you think. They get a woman into bed, and find that their mind seems to want to go faster than their bodies do.
Often guys who have this also don't orgasm with women the first time they have sex with them--they need to go at it a few times before they relax enough to "let loose."

This is more normal than you think. Many men, especially shy men, or men who haven't had much success with women, think that they want to have a lot of one-night stands...but when they finally succeed in getting a stranger into bed, they find that they aren't interested after all.

This can be incredibly disconcerting. You do the work to be seductive, you actually succeed, you've got into bed some hot 19-year-old whose name you can't even remember and whose last name you've never even heard, and your manhood decides to take a vacation on you. This is the thanks you get? What the hell is going on here?

It turns out that while most men think they want to have one-night-stands, a great number of them only like the idea in theory, or in fantasy. They are stuck with these sad facts: Being sexual is really pretty intimate. Not surprisingly, being that intimate requires a good deal of trust. Trust takes time to build. Therefore, those men who are not good at one-night stands have to accept that they don't actually want the instant-sex that they think they want.

So what's a fellow to do? We suggest that you listen to you dick when you are being sexual. But how to do that? You can say to a woman you are getting to know, "I have to tell you--I need to go slow into sexuality. I can be kind of, well, shy, when I first get sexual." After giving that warning, just listen to what you want to do with a woman, and don't go any farther than your dick wants you to.

The weird thing is, this little speech (and following up on it) can have two almost paradoxical effects:

First, telling a woman you want to slow down the sexuality in your relationship is often such a turn-on to her that she will end up wanting to go faster, or at least as fast as you chose to go. Unexpectedly, telling her you want to slow down puts you in the driver's seat with a woman, putting YOU in charge of how fast sexuality goes. This makes you more of the "desired commodity" in the relationship.

Second, taking the pressure off yourself to have to perform with a woman can make it easier for you to, uh, perform. If you know that you don't have to 'get it up,' and she knows you aren't going to go nuts to push it, the freedom that knowledge gives you can make sex even more likely to have sex happen.

Third, practice often makes perfect. If you don't have to perform, and both you and her know it, in time you might get better at one-nighters. At two AM, after drinks and late-night pizza and who-knows-what-else on the way to your one-nighter, she may not notice if you fall asleep half-way to going the distance, anyway.

But the real point of all this is that accepting yourself as someone who actually isn't interested in one-nighters is a really good idea. Don't worry, you'll get used to it in time...and not trying to be something you are not will ultimately improve your sex life.

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Dating Insider - Getting The First Date
Helen Ferry - Get The Facts About Condoms

Keywords: silly routines silly  being your  common mistakes when  masculinity  turn friend girlfriend  dmitry  super your  

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Dating Tips If You Can Not Dance Do Not

So the moral of the story is...

If you can’t dance...Don't

Now on the surface, that seems like a nice little piece of dating advice. But it goes much deeper than that...

It is a powerful metaphor that MUST be applied to every aspect of your game.

You see, as pickup artists we all have our own individual strengths and our own individual weaknesses.

Having a good sense of humor is obviously a strength and one which can be exploited when related to dating and relationships in general.

But right now I want to focus on our weaknesses... because we all got em.

There are the kinds of weaknesses we can change and there are the kinds we can’t. And it is up to you to decide which of your weaknesses are worth devoting time to improving.

But what I’m asking you to do is to make a list of your weaknesses and then go down that list and check off whichever ones are HIDEABLE.

For example, as previously stated, I am a terrible dancer... But I have the option NOT to dance and therefore not reveal that weakness. I am also a very messy eater... But I have the option NOT to take my date out to eat. (Or at the very least, I can avoid ordering the spaghetti.)

Identifying our own weaknesses is crucial, but by identifying which of our weaknesses can be masked and then doing so, we are taking our game to the next level.

So just remember...If you can’t dance... Don't

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

C Kellogg - Dating Tips For Men Special Report
Carlos Xuma - Dating Questions And Answers

Keywords: lets friends  cues patterns  3 powerful  pickup women know  anatomy seduction  younger older  deaf women  sample pickup airplane  california nightlife  jlaix jeffy  your effective  drink free  horny woman  steps save husband  

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Anatomy Of A Seduction

I am going to give you the point-by-point breakdown of an actual seductionperformed with a target that was what most men consider a 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.This example is being given to ensure that you understand how these tactics work onreal live women, and that you believe that it does not require you to either wimp out(write her love poetry and lick her shoes) or that you have to be a GQ model with aFerrari or a lot of money.(Just for your knowledge, Mark, in this account, is not a GQ model, nor does hehave a fancy car – it’s a Jeep Cherokee.)Note: This is a true account, though, “Mark” and “Betty” are not their real names. Ihave transcribed the events from an interview with Mark, a close friend of mine.

I am also familiar with Betty, and verified the account with her over drinks.Mark’s Account:First some background on the target, Betty:Betty was a former co-worker who I had interacted with many times before. Sheand I had flirted, but at no time had I ever let on a sexual interest in her. Betty was fivefoot nine, blonde, and about 110 pounds. She was petite, and very intelligent. She hadthe body most of the stick-bug models would kill for, and she rarely exercised to keep itthat way. She was also extremely arrogant and defensive, which made for someinteresting arguments along the way. We would regularly get into contentiousdiscussions about how something should or shouldn’t be done at work, and there weretimes when she ended up storming out of my office, or lashing out in a public meeting.She was what you’d call the textbook definition of “bitch,” but it got her what shewanted from other people. In the end, she and I would always come back around totalking again, usually by the next day. She would even drop hints about not wanting to“dip her pen in the company ink” from time to time, as if to acknowledge that there wassome workplace sexual tension.

Betty had some mother issues (not unusual for women as a whole, but this casewas pretty obvious.) So I knew there were some pretty typical self-esteem issues atwork there. Betty also knew she was gorgeous, and flaunted her sexuality with everyman she came in contact with. We would often talk about her search for a boyfriend onthe Internet, and I saw first hand how every single guy she met screwed up with herfrom the start. Many of them would send her flowers on the first date, or even beforethe first date. Others appeared to bow to her every whim. It was entertaining to watchmost of the time.After a while, she was laid off from our company, and I felt a breath of relief. ButI also knew I’d miss seeing that perky butt of hers wiggle by my office window everymorning. We reconnected via email a few months later, and I told her we needed tohook up for some drinks. She agreed, and we set a time for it on that Friday.On the night of the seduction date, I knew I was ready for this situation. First ofall, I was seeing a couple other women, so I had my bets hedged. This meant that Icould go into this date without caring about whether or not I got anything. In fact, Ikept her negative qualities up on the front of my mind so that I even went into it withan obvious attitude of reluctance. I didn’t need sex or attention from her, and that keptme at a challenging distance.

I also had a sure-thing date lined up the next night, so Iknew I wouldn’t have any problems being satisfied that weekend. (Remember, keep aconsolation prize.) It was a lot more relaxing to know that, no matter what happened, Iwas taken care of. I was in charge of my own good time.We met at a cocktail bar in San Francisco, a trendy little place in the SOMA areaof the city. She was already talking with some other guys when I met up with her,which I made sure to let her know did not bother me one bit. We broke off andordered a couple drinks and started talking, catching up a bit on what had been goingon in our lives. I also made it clear that I wouldn’t indulge in a lot of negative gossip.One of Betty’s personality traits is that she likes to stir controversy whiledemonstrating at the same time that she’s superior because of her intelligence. I smiledwhen she would make catty comments and always questioned her back about herassumptions.“So, I hear that Mark isn’t going to get the region when they reorganize,” shesaid, knowing full well that Mark was a very good friend of mine that I worked with. Hehad turned Betty down for a dating relationship some time back. “That sort of figures,doesn’t it?”I took a sip of my drink and paused. “Really? Hmm. What makes you say that?”She scrambled to justify her observation. “Well, I mean, after all, he just doesn’thave what it takes to do it. He’s just not that smart. Those guys from New York will cuthim up.”I smiled and took another sip. I waited for the silence to become almost toomuch to bear. She finally broke it with her impatience. “Don’t you agree? You knowwhat I mean, right?”Now, in the complete Seduction Method e-book,

I take this situation (alongwith the rest of the evening) and break it down, going over what happened over theentire night (well, almost all of the night … some of it will have to remain private.)Then, I go into what the key principles were and how they worked, so that you can seehow seduction really works from the outside in. Here is some of that analysis:Confrontation – The willingness to take her on as an adversary – worked todemonstrate Mark’s willingness to confront Betty. She was always ready to get into anargument or fight, and she thrived on that kind of contention. Mark understood herpersonality from observing her enough that this wasn’t a bad thing. Most guys avoidconfrontation with a woman, and I’m sure Betty’s dates did, too. What she found mostattractive was someone who could fight with her and knew how to guide all her angryfeline attitude in the right direction.

Suggested reading (free books):

Estus Romeo - Weapons Of Mass Seduction
Franco - Manual Of Seduction

Keywords: free francisco  what is persuasion  building into sarge  verbal and non-verbal communication  secret manual secrets  sleight magic  milton solution  

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Approaching Women And Getting Physical

***QUESTION***

Dave, your work has really changed my life. A buddy of mine introduced me to the whole C&F deal, signed me up for your newsletters, and I've recently purchased the books. I'm now currently passing on the ways of The Force to a complete wussbag friend who, like me, was brought up to treat women nicely and avoid talking about sexual things because it's “too forward”. Well, as you're covered a million times, we're programmed by our mothers to be total wussies from the day we're born.

I realized that in my past when I've not cared and was totally C&F and she got it, I ended up on dates. Unfortunately, I didn't know better back then and would morph into wuss mode because “it's what they want” and eventually I was just another friend. Anyway, it hasn't taken long for much of your teachings to make sense. The more I bust their balls the better things always seem, and when I can't find the ball busting material I pull the James Bond stance, cock the head to one side, and stand near them like I know they want it... and I'm just the man to give it to them! Believe me guys, exuding confidence is by far the biggest improvement you'll make to your game. Ok, on to the success story. First, I met this fairly hot chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At first I was out of it, didn't know what to say (was a long day), and when my buddy was working her friend I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my beer, wandered back after taking a time out to come up with a few lines and that's when things got interesting. I could tell that she was sorta confused that I just said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while my buddy worked. Awesome. So I come back, busted on her a bunch, then wandered off... again. In the mean time my buddy was still struggling away with her chunky and not-so-hot friend. Sidenote: he's the “wuss” I refer to earlier that I'm currently trying to train. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies who are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy still in tow with “The Friend”), and now I'm getting warmed up with the C&F. I see this dude with the ugliest sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked her if she thought he had skinned his couch to make that thing. She loved it, got the e-mail, and the rest is history in progress. Dropped her quite a few cocky e-mails, she sent the phone number... To close this up, two comments and a question.

First, it's strange but true that when you ignore them they pay more attention to you. Second, had she not played the “we're drunk, lets not have sex” card I would have surely closed the deal... on our first time out after the bar meeting.

Dave, your teachings are truly amazing. I do have one question for you. I KNOW you're not supposed to buy everything because it's wussy (and expensive), but what do you do when you're out, you get round one because you lost a bet to this chick, and when round two comes she just sits there expecting you to buy? Fortunately, she's a cheap drunk, but unfortunately I bought all the booze that night. I went as far as looking at her and saying “well I guess I've got this round too, huh?” when she sat there. Like I said, round one was on me because of a bet and that's all I wanted to pay for. I want to go out with her again, but I don't want to get stuck with a $50 dinner tab. Thanks for any advice.

JMS Detroit

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of how you met this particular girl.

You've really provided a great example of how to be very DIFFERENT than most guys, and how to integrate a lot of my ideas together and successfully apply them.

The idea of walking up to a woman, saying “hi”, and then WALKING AWAY is great (only if you're reasonably sure that you're going to see her again... like in a typical bar scenario).

What do MOST guys do?

They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to her, try to get a “normal” conversation going, try to buy her a drink, etc.

In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something unexpected... you said hi, then walked away.

This leaves her to wonder things like:

“Why did he leave?”

“Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when I opened my mouth he didn't like my personality.”

“Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on to me like the other guys here?”

...etc. etc. etc.

The point is that when you start talking, then walk away, then start talking again, then walk away it demonstrates that you're VERY different from the other guys in the bar who are all acting the same.

It shows that you have self control, that you have things to do, that you could take her or leave her...

And when you ADD to this the Cocky & Funny attitude and humor, it creates a VERY unusual experience for the woman... she's now talking to a guy who seems TOTALLY in control of himself... a guy who is not only unpredictable, but is also interesting and funny to talk to (good things, by the way).

Next, your idea of making a bet to see who buys the drinks is GREAT. I really like it.

If I were you, I'd just keep betting for each round of drinks... hey, if it worked once, why stop? It keeps things fun as well.

And if you're going to KEEP paying for drinks, you need to say “So what am I going to get out of this deal? Don't think just because I'm buying you a drink that I'm going to take you home with me.”

Tell her that she owes you a two hour full-body massage in return. Tell her that you can BUY a woman in other parts of the world for the price of her bar tab.

OK, one of the things you mentioned was that she said: “We're drunk, let's not have sex”.

If I were you, I'd get out the bonus booklet that you got when you downloaded Double Your Dating... the one called “Sex Secrets”. The problem you were most likely dealing with is that you made some type of sexual advance before she was EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY turned on enough.

When you really pay attention to what I teach in Sex Secrets, you'll begin to understand how to really AMPLIFY and accelerate her arousal, and how to get her to the point where SHE is the one that's telling YOU that she wants to move to the next step (and she'll be telling you with her body most likely, not her words).

Go read it again.

And to address your question about paying for drinks and dates...

The reality of the situation is that most women EXPECT a man to pay for a date.

I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women, and when I challenge them and explain that it sets up an imbalance when a man starts paying for things in the beginning, most women start saying things like:

- “I don't like cheap men.”
- “A gentleman will always pay for a lady.”
- “I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out.”
- “I don't want a guy that I have to support.”
- “A guy is lucky to be with me, and he should pay.”

I can feel the hair standing up on the backs of the necks of men and women all over the world who are reading this right now. To be fair, I have met SEVERAL women who disagree with this kind of thinking... women who are independent, self sufficient, and who aren't interested in finding a guy who will pay their way. But in GENERAL, this is what you're going to run into. Many women actually don't think of it as a man “paying” for them. They don't even think about the money itself.

They actually believe that a “gentleman” is supposed to always be the one who pays... that it was HIM who offered to take HER out... and that just because she's female that she deserves to be treated to free food and entertainment.

HELL, MY OWN MOM EVEN THINKS THIS WAY! lol...

(I think it's funny now, but I wish she would have told me what was REALLY going on about 20 years ago, instead of making me figure it all out myself.)

Am I starting to rant?

OK, random thought:

If a woman says, “Just because a guy takes me out and buys me a nice dinner doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with him”. Does that mean what she's really saying is that SOMETIMES when a man takes her out and buys her dinner that it means she IS going to sleep with him?

WHATEVER.

Now that we've talked psychology, let's talk action.

- In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to avoid having to pay for a woman's dinner is to NOT TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard me say this in 100 different ways, but you REALLY CAN avoid paying for things by just avoiding the SITUATIONS.
- If you don't want to pay for drinks, don't go to bars.
- If you don't want to pay for dinner, don't go out to restaurants.
- If you don't want to pay for diamonds, avoid jewelry stores.

There are a MILLION other great ideas out there, and a MILLION other MORE INTERESTING things to do.

And remember the most IMPORTANT reason why you don't want to start by paying for things:

IT SETS YOU UP AS A PROVIDER IN HER MIND. Don't worry about PAYING for things, only be concerned with creating the emotion called ATTRACTION inside of her. That's it. If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then nothing else matters.

Look around.

There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women that you probably know RIGHT NOW who are with guys who mistreat them... guys who the women even have to support entirely in many cases...

WHY?

Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.

Do three things:

1) Avoid traditional situations that automatically set you up to pay for things.
2) Think through and plan interesting experiences for women. Go places and do things that naturally create an interesting, fun time... and avoid places that naturally create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere.
3) Invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program. You are ready for the next step, and this is it.

by David deAngelo

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Kate Ludeman - Coaching The Alpha Male
Thundercat - The Art Of Approaching 2nd Edition

Keywords: unlimited power skills  personality everything about  books getting  secrets mature masculine  russian having drastically  

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Mystery And Matador Pimp Dental Floss

When they are not pimping Venusian Arts Revelation or the new season of The Pick Up Artist on VH1, Mystery and Matador are pimping DenTek dental floss picks.

Screw Floss Picks, Acquire The Combined Knowledge of the Worlds’ TWO Greatest PUA’s *RIGHT NOW*...

The two joined a long list of washed up actors and reality stars in having their picture taken holding a bag of picks at an event seemingly corresponding with the recent Emmys.

Mystery Matador DenTek flossFinally one situation where using the “flossing opener” actually makes sense!

Mystery is even quoted in the DenTek press release...

“You can be the best pick-up artist in the world, but if you have bad breath you will lose! Gingivitis is the #1 cause of having smelly breath, and this takes care of it,” said Mystery (host of VH1’s ‘The Pickup Artist’) holding a bag of DenTek Floss Picks.

Watch Videos Of These Two PUA’s REVEALING Their Greatest PUA Secrets...

It appears like Mystery is a hardcore flosser and favors the DenTek Triple Clean Floss Picks with Fluoride while Matador demands luxury and comfort when cleaning food particles from between his teeth so he prefers the DenTek Easy Angle Silk Floss Picks.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to make a bee line to Walgreens after work to get me some amazing DenTek products so my “game” can be amplified to epic proportions!

What’s next... Mystery pimping Covergirl mascara?

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Mario Uchard - French And Oriental Love In A Harem
Derek Vitalio - 3 Master Keys To Pickup Lines

Keywords: even failed  neghit mistery  strategy girls  5 types  take control  older women younger  women enjoy being  woman strength  public sheet  malignant self narcissism  elaborations swingcats  dont have date  

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Nlp Modality

One of the principles of NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is the use of modality. At some point, you should find out what your seduction target’s modality oflearning is: auditory, kinesthetic, or visual. Most people have a sense that they prefer touse when it comes to their learning style. We all use our hearing, sight, or touch insome way to learn and understand new material. We use them all at one point oranother, but just about everyone has one they use most of the time.

You can figure outwhich modality it is by listening to how they describe things. Here are a few examples:

Kinesthetic:

- “That just doesn’t feel right to me.”
- “Oh, that feels so coldand depressing.”
- “I can’t come to grips with that.”

This person is typically a kinesthetic learner. Recognize her by the tactilewords she uses. She learns by doing or touching. She probably likeshandholding and hugging to establish security. She will also like to fidgetby playing with things, like her straw, or toy with the buttons on herjacket. Her hobbies will probably revolve around her modality, too.

Auditory:

- “That just doesn’t click.”
- “That just doesn’t sound right.”
- “Ihear what you’re saying.”

These keywords tip you off that she is mostly auditory. The words thathighlight hearing are used most frequently. She learns by hearinginstructions. This type of woman is very suggestive and responds well to NLP techniques.

Visual:

- “I see what you’re saying.”
- “That’s not the way I see it.”
- “Looksgood to me.”

This person is showing a disposition to visual modes of learning. Evenwhen referring to words or sounds, she will use the word “see” as in thefirst example. She learns by seeing, or reading instructions withdiagrams. She is probably very fashion conscious.Understanding a woman’s modality not only helps you communicate better withher about sex (finding out if talking dirty, watching porn, or dancing close will exciteher), but also how she will respond in conversation.o Use magic on the women that are visual.

Use your speech and charged words on the auditory ladies. And use your sense of touch – palm reading and kino – on the kinestheticwomen.(In the complete e-book, the next section covers kinaesthetics, since it is one of the most important NLPtechniques to utilize in your seduction.I recommend men learn how to use this particular method on all women.)

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

Michael Hall - Potentiality
Michael Hall - Un Insult Ability

Keywords: mystery archetype  secrets reading  arts seduction  life sane living  attracting women  

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6 Characteristics Of A Leader

What kind of personality does a leader, someone who exudes charisma, have? It seems that leaders posses 6 fundamental characteristics.

1. Simplicity

You should first be aware that people with charisma are usually simple and modest. It's the people who fail continually who are arrogant towards others. In a group, charismatic persons never try to attract attention by boasting about their talents or qualities, or by making a display of their virtues.

2. The ability to listen to others

A few years ago a popular magazine organized a contest. Readers had to concoct bits of philosophical or spiritual wisdom, in 25 words or less. One reader submitted the following gem: "People who talk about themselves are bores, people who talk about others are gossips, but those who talk about you are brilliant conversationalists!" It's so true. If you want to acquire a magnetic personality, you have to learn to encourage other people to express themselves, and to talk about themselves to you. Ask questions about their work, their hobbies, their families and so on. Give them the opportunity to re- veal themselves to you.

3. Self confidence and assertiveness

Shyness, which we'll talk about in detail in the chapter devoted to it, is not necessarily a negative quality if it isn't exaggerated, in which case it's more like a healthy sense of propriety and reserve.
However if your shyness prevents you from communicating with others, from assuming your rightful position in society, from meeting people with whom you believe you have something in common, from doing well on oral exams or showing your best side during job inter- views, then you should do something about it. People with charisma are not overly shy, and if they were at one time, they have succeeded in overcoming it. We'll see how later on.

4. The ability to act decisively

This means not procrastinating - not putting off for tomorrow what you can do today. Charismatic people are neither negligent nor lazy. If procrastinating is one of your faults, you must absolutely get rid of it. An entire chapter of this book is devoted to the problem.
Be honest: do you admire people who can't make up their minds, who always seem to be dragging their feet, and who have a pile of things they were supposed to do last week which they still haven't gotten around to? No, of course not.

5. Respect your commitments

Does this seem obvious? Well, you may be surprised to learn how many people don't honor their commitments. "Are you talking about minor or major commitments?" you ask.
And that's exactly the point - that's where you're going wrong. Because there are no minor commitments! A commitment is always major, whether it's a promise to play tennis with someone, or to lend a substantial amount of money to a friend in need. You are judged just as severely on your punctuality to a dinner party as you are in repaying your debts. People with charisma are people you can count on. They are like rocks - steady fixed points in an unstable, changing universe.

6. Feeling good about yourself

Be careful! Feeling good about yourself doesn't mean you have to look like Robert Redford or Marilyn Monroe. Physical beauty has nothing to do with a person's magnetism. Never forget that.
President Roosevelt was an invalid; Cicero, according to historical descriptions, was afflicted with a repulsive physique; neither would Joan of Arc or Queen Elizabeth have won any beauty contests. Many of society's most influential personalities have nothing physically attractive about them.

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

William Painter - The Palace Of Pleasure
Cameron Teone - The Attributes The Characteristics Of A Seducer

Keywords: beliefs attitudes  asoka  russian having life  game life  dates avoid these  

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