My Acolyte Pulls Of His First Threesome

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So one of my recent guys and I have been hanging out a ton lately. There is nothing I enjoy more than hanging out with a student that I have turned into a badass wing and friend. Of course this is a story of a different sort.

On Saturday this dude was in a restaurant bar eating dinner alone when he sees three girls throwing back the drinks and decides to join in the conversation. It's amazing how many epic stories start with just one little decision. The first step seems hardest of all, except when we look at it with hindsight.

Fast forward a few hours and he's partying with them in their strip club and throwing back the overpriced cocktails. He gets the number of the loudest and craziest one after a night of intense partying and trouble making. He texts her the next day and gets no reply so he figures that it's dead. C'est la vie.

Ever since I learned the right way to spell that, I love typing it.

Late night Sunday she texts him saying she wants to meet up on Monday. So he suggests taking her out to dinner and maybe a few drinks. She's like how about we just chill at your place. This is the ultimate sign that she just wants to bang. She doesn't even want the free dinner first!

But this is also where I'm crashing this week, since I'm visiting him. So I get the boot when she comes over. I drove 8 hours that day and I spend an hour falling asleep in a restaurant and then another hour trying to sleep by the pool while he's doing his thing to her.

The finally chip off and I hit the sack. Right where he smashed her.

A few days later she wants to party and he tells her to bring one of her friends for me. So on Thursday I go out and get loaded up on booze and ready to party. He texts me a little later telling me they have some specific booze requests. Needless to say they want some gross watermelon flavored stripper booze. The lady in the WinnDixie knew exactly what was up. I made sure to have her tell everyone else in the store that I normally buy tough guy liquor.

So the girls go to some bar on the way back to our party pad and he goes to meet them on his way back from work. I have to cruise over from the apartment. A silly little 5 minute drive to meet them up. His girl is loud as hell and people are all moving away from her. She's got about 15 piercings and 40 tattoos and she is the type of girl that shouts all the time. Right behind her and her buddy is a lovely pair of blonds that I just want to dive right into. But I gotta back my boy up and these girls are already coming back to ours.

The girl he got for me is a cute little brunette. As soon as I make eye contact with my dude we signal that we gotta get these girls outa public. It's straight embarassing to be around girls that are so loud and obnoxious.

We bounce them back to the pad and start doing drinks. It's quickly apparent that his girl runs the club where these girls dance. She's one of those girls that shouts that she is an expert at everything. So she immediately takes over the drink pouring duties. If you like half your booze getting poured on the counter and drinks that taste awful, I can give you this girls contact details. It's amazing how delusional some people can be.

I go back out with the friend to get some soda to mix with their drinks and I notice a bigass child seat in the back of her car. She's like ya I got 2 kids and I live with my grandmother. I was like that's awesome. Normally I would be way outa the scene by now. It's just too much baby mama drama, but this girl's body is tight.

Back in the condo we are blasting back drinks and I start escalating the hell outa my girl. I start talking to her about talents and she tells us all that her main talent is making her butt and snatch snap separately. She then stripped from the waist down and showed us. It was impressive but I'm not really sure how it was sexy. Way to scientific looking for me.

We are getting blasted and end up doing chicken fights in the pool. Tops are getting ripped off and our old creepy neighbor is watching like a hawk. He's just circling the pool like my dog used to when it thought I was drowning as a kid.

We are getting completely dominated because the other team has like 50% more mass than us. So we keep working on strategies. In the final round I drop down super low, grab my friend's dong, and then blast up so she can push the other girl over. We have a sweet victory.

I take her back inside and we start making out. I look at the door and I'm like do I need to lock that? I don't really want to lose my groove so I ignore it. I pop her top off and I'm trying to reach behind me for a condom when the main stripper busts in and shuts us down. The girl is just shouting and wants more drinks.

So the mood is broken and we all are back outside chilling more. About 15 minutes later the blond stripper shouts that the 3 of them need to have a meeting in the condo. She runs over and locks me outa my own place. I was going to go hunting all night for ladies with one of my homies from London, and I even told him when I went home that something like this would happen to me.

So my homey had the first threesome of his life and even smashed in the brunette bareback in the bootie. That's some serious shenanigans.

Like I always say, I get my students laid.

I'm damn happy for him but next time I'm hiding a book by the pool.

SEE, I can post stories where I'm not the hero.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):

Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Handling Women
Anthony Berger - How To Get Into Threesomes
Philip Redhead - Best Places For First Dates

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