What kind of personality does a leader, someone who exudes charisma, have? It seems that leaders posses 6 fundamental characteristics.
1. Simplicity
You should first be aware that people with charisma are usually simple and modest. It's the people who fail continually who are arrogant towards others. In a group, charismatic persons never try to attract attention by boasting about their talents or qualities, or by making a display of their virtues.
2. The ability to listen to others
A few years ago a popular magazine organized a contest. Readers had to concoct bits of philosophical or spiritual wisdom, in 25 words or less. One reader submitted the following gem: "People who talk about themselves are bores, people who talk about others are gossips, but those who talk about you are brilliant conversationalists!" It's so true. If you want to acquire a magnetic personality, you have to learn to encourage other people to express themselves, and to talk about themselves to you. Ask questions about their work, their hobbies, their families and so on. Give them the opportunity to re- veal themselves to you.
3. Self confidence and assertiveness
Shyness, which we'll talk about in detail in the chapter devoted to it, is not necessarily a negative quality if it isn't exaggerated, in which case it's more like a healthy sense of propriety and reserve.
However if your shyness prevents you from communicating with others, from assuming your rightful position in society, from meeting people with whom you believe you have something in common, from doing well on oral exams or showing your best side during job inter- views, then you should do something about it. People with charisma are not overly shy, and if they were at one time, they have succeeded in overcoming it. We'll see how later on.
4. The ability to act decisively
This means not procrastinating - not putting off for tomorrow what you can do today. Charismatic people are neither negligent nor lazy. If procrastinating is one of your faults, you must absolutely get rid of it. An entire chapter of this book is devoted to the problem.
Be honest: do you admire people who can't make up their minds, who always seem to be dragging their feet, and who have a pile of things they were supposed to do last week which they still haven't gotten around to? No, of course not.
5. Respect your commitments
Does this seem obvious? Well, you may be surprised to learn how many people don't honor their commitments. "Are you talking about minor or major commitments?" you ask.
And that's exactly the point - that's where you're going wrong. Because there are no minor commitments! A commitment is always major, whether it's a promise to play tennis with someone, or to lend a substantial amount of money to a friend in need. You are judged just as severely on your punctuality to a dinner party as you are in repaying your debts. People with charisma are people you can count on. They are like rocks - steady fixed points in an unstable, changing universe.
6. Feeling good about yourself
Be careful! Feeling good about yourself doesn't mean you have to look like Robert Redford or Marilyn Monroe. Physical beauty has nothing to do with a person's magnetism. Never forget that.
President Roosevelt was an invalid; Cicero, according to historical descriptions, was afflicted with a repulsive physique; neither would Joan of Arc or Queen Elizabeth have won any beauty contests. Many of society's most influential personalities have nothing physically attractive about them.
Suggested reading (pdf e-books):
William Painter - The Palace Of Pleasure
Cameron Teone - The Attributes The Characteristics Of A Seducer
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