I say I have a feeling of heartbreak because getting dumped from a two-year relationship didn't feel nearly as bad as every miniature heartbreak I have over every potential match. My parents are divorced but have been there for my whole life with little fighting in the divorce. I have had an average amount of romantic relationships for my age and in no way feel outcast, bullied, ignored, etc. I would describe my life as fairly normal, which is why I'm having such a hard time understanding why I have such an instant and deep attachment issue. Any help would be appreciated.
A: When we have been hurt there is also hope. My guess is that the pain you felt from the breakup is fueling hope for a new relationship. This is natural, and the fact that you feel this pull to be with someone is natural. Yet I can hear how difficult of a situation it has created.
One way to begin dealing with this is to practice brief conversations with women that are designed for you to have a beginning, middle and end. In other words, initiate a conversation with a woman while you are online for coffee or groceries and practice your endings: "It was nice talking to you; Enjoy the rest of your day;" etc.
When you learn to ski, the first thing they teach you is how to slow down and stop. When you learn to ride a bike they teach you how to brake. You need to practice brief encounters so that every one doesn't get you too involved.
Wishing you patience and peace,
"Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral"
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):Phil Anderson - Creating An Attractive Identity
Carlos Xuma - The Art Of Attraction
Edward Carpenter - The Intermediate Sex
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