Monday, October 2, 2006

Art Of Flirting

Art Of Flirting Cover
Flirting is an important social skill. It can be used to display interest. It can be used to judge another person's level of interest. It can be used to attract interest from others. In many ways, everything you do or say in the dating and attraction process is a form of flirting.

Skilful flirters make it look effortless. They blur the line between social butterfly and sexual being. Their confidence makes them alluring, their bravery makes them intriguing and their sexuality makes them intoxicating. They're never afraid of attracting the type of attention they want.

Great flirts speak and act in ways that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the amount of time they've know the person they're flirting with, without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. They walk a fine line, but land lots of dates by doing so.

The more attraction skills you master, the more effective flirt you'll be. Attraction All-Stars has included the most effective of those skills below. So stop waiting on the sidelines and start using your personality, body language and conversation skills to flirt with other singles.


The best flirts are risk-takers with unshakable confidence. They have an 'I don't care what you think of me because I know I'm awesome' attitude. They expect to win over everyone they meet. Because of this attitude, flirts have powerful body language, are able to break through people's touch barriers quicker and are able to show a larger range of their personality through conversation.

Flirting goals

Know the purpose of your flirting. Are you just trying to win over the crowd? Are you trying to gage the interest of the handsome doctor? Are you trying to show the stunning lawyer you're interested in her? If you're going to flirt, have a purpose in mind. Knowing your goal can help ensure you don't step over the line of appropriate social behavior.

Time and Place

There is a time and place for everything... and flirting is no different. Flirting is carefully balancing on the line of appropriate social behavior. A step over that line can quickly take you from flirt to floozy. It can turn respect to disrespect. It can turn a comfortable situation uncomfortable. Read verbal and non-verbal signals and understand your environment to ensure you don't step over the line.

Be a sexual being

We are all sexual creatures. It's important people see you as one. Flirting helps ensure you don't land in the 'let's just be friends zone' later. If you try to appear non-sexual to avoid being seen as a threat, you're not going to be seen as potential dating material either. Have singles see you in a sexy, playful and flirtatious way.

Build sexual tension

Talk to, tease and titillate their sexual inhibitions. It is important singles see you as a potential sexual partner without either of you talking about sex. Sexual tension is heightened through flirtatious touch, voice tone, eye contact, facial expressions and body language. Done properly, it can fill a non-sexual conversation with sexual overtones.


Proper Posture

Your posture will tell people if you're willing to be approached. It will inform them of your comfort level around them. It will show them which conversation topics to follow or abandon. All great flirts have powerful posture (chin up, shoulders pulled back, chest out, back straight, feet firmly planted on the ground). They also keep their posture open.

If someone is uncomfortable with another person they will close their posture. This is done by crossing their arms or holding a drink in front of their chest. To show comfort, flirts always keep their hands at their sides, tucked behind their back or on the person of interest. Flirts know by doing this, they send subliminal signals of interest. An open posture sends all the right signals without saying a single word.

Suggested reading (pdf e-books):

David Jones - The Art Of Internet Dating
Kate Fox - Guide To Flirting

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